When my husband and I decided to become parents, I went sober. I feel like a better mom without alcohol.

• When my partner and I decided to start a family, I knew I wanted to quit drinking.
• I realized I could take certain behaviors to the extreme, and sobriety felt like the right choice.

Before I ever thought about getting pregnant, I flirted with the idea of breaking up with alcohol. I started to love drinking a few years ago, and I'm the type of person who takes things to the extreme.

When I realized I liked to run three years ago, I obsessed over how quickly I could train my body to run 10 miles a day. When I reached that goal, I kept pushing myself harder to run faster and farther — until I got injured.

Here's another. About five years ago I took one sip of a friend's Starbucks chai latte and was hooked. For six months after, every day I had to have one at 11 a.m. If I tried to take a day off, I'd think about it so much that I couldn't do anything else until I got one. When I discovered a love of cold-brew coffee, I was able to ditch my daily chai latte. I'm scared to have a sip of chai again; now, of course, I have to have a cold brew every day.

It wasn't until I was 34 and my partner and I decided we wanted to start a family that I realized that though things like running or getting a daily chai or cold brew might not sound so dangerous, I was doing them to the extreme, and I wanted to get a handle on that. I worried about how things would play out once I had kids.

So a month before I ended up getting pregnant, I decided to stop drinking alcohol and become sober.

I started by ordering mocktails at restaurants, buying nonalcoholic wine, and asking the people I spent a lot of time with to pause drinking until I felt a little more comfortable with the idea of not having my own glass.

I'm now 35 with a 9-month-old baby. I haven't had a sip of alcohol in over a year, and don't think I ever will again. Here's why I'm glad I made that decision.

I wanted to find a healthy way to cope with the stress of being a parent

Before having my baby, I'd spend a lot of time with friends who already had a few kids. I saw how hard being a parent can be.

I remember a friend telling me that every night, once her two kids were asleep, she'd sit on the couch and uncork a bottle of wine. While she was able to have a glass or two to take the edge off from the day, I knew I'd likely finish the whole bottle — especially if my stress levels were through the roof.

When my baby was born, I found myself putting her to sleep, closing the door, and sitting still on the couch. I was exhausted, stressed, and in desperate need of a release. I knew I needed to find something healthy to do to unwind. I picked three things I could rotate through: walking around a nearby park, listening to podcasts and audiobooks, and doing at-home yoga. Switching between these activities helped me avoid taking any of them to the extreme.

To help me stay accountable, I asked my husband to pick his own three healthy coping mechanisms so I didn't feel tempted to pick up a bottle of wine and ask him to split it with me. He did that and agreed to also pause drinking for as long as I needed him to.

I was exhausted and didn't want to add alcohol to the mix

Right after my daughter was born, my husband and I went back to work. Neither of us had parental paid leave. Since I work for myself, I was working when she was napping, early in the morning, and very late at night, sleeping only a few hours a day. I was exhausted and overwhelmed.

I decided not to introduce alcohol into my postpartum life because, above anything else, I didn't want to endanger my child. For me, that meant being completely sober instead of attempting to be a one-glass-a-day kind of drinker.

Sobriety is helping me work on my mental health

During those early postpartum months, I'd sometimes feel depressed and anxious. While these were all struggles I'd experienced before, experiencing them while also being responsible for a newborn baby was unusually overwhelming.

I couldn't cope as I had in the past, with rest, creative outlets, and self-care. It would've been easy for me to turn to a substance, like alcohol, to self-medicate. But I knew if I did that, I'd spiral. I decided I needed help working on my mental health and addictive behaviors; I contacted a therapist and began working with her one or two times a week.

I don't miss drinking alcohol at all, and I plan on staying sober forever. It's what works for me as a first-time mom struggling with my mental health.

While it was hard at first, I'm glad I made this decision and have no problem saying no when a friend tries to hand me a glass of wine or asks to go out for happy-hour drinks. My life is better without drinking, and I feel like I'm able to be a better mom for my baby. That's all that matters to me at this time in my life.