We spoke to married women who used Ashley Madison to have affairs last Christmas. They don't regret it, and they plan to do it again this year.

• Two married women who met their affair partners on Ashley Madison say they cheated on Christmas last year.
• One woman had her first orgasm ever thanks to her Ashley Madison lover.

Shelby says her husband doesn't understand what he's missing. Last Christmas while he worked, she spent the day with her eyes rolled in the back of her head as her Ashley Madison lover pleasured her.

Shelby, a 45-year-old living in San Diego, never had an orgasm until she met her lover while looking for sex outside of her marriage. She described her sex life with her husband, who she's been married to for 20 years, as "basically non-existent."

"It happens when it happens. It's not even planned and it's when he feels like it," Shelby told Insider.

As Christmas approached last year, Shelby's husband told her he volunteered to work Christmas Day, despite their tradition of spending the day together with loved ones. Feeling disappointed and ignored, Shelby texted a man she met on Ashley Madison, who she went on a first date with earlier that month. His wife would be working on Christmas too, he said. They spent the holiday together, having sex.

Insider spoke with Shelby and another woman, Kelly, who say they used Ashley Madison, a website for people seeking affair partners, to facilitate affairs on Christmas last year. Both women asked to use pseudonyms to protect their identities and livelihoods. They said their extramarital relationships reinvigorated them, making them feel seen and desired after years of lackluster intimacy in their marriages.

As Christmas approaches this year, both women say they'd like to spend time with their Ashley Madison lovers, if schedules and finances allow for it.

Women taking sexless marriages into their own hands

Kelly, who is 59 and lives in Tennessee, told Insider she and her husband have a "don't ask, don't tell" marriage. They've been married for 22 years.

"I don't want to leave him because I don't want to hurt him and I promised him I wouldn't," Kelly said. "I take care of the house, I take care of the responsibilities, I take care of what I need to do."

They haven't had sex in 10 years, which is her choice, she said.

Kelly said she no longer feels attracted to her husband because he doesn't take care of himself. Three years ago, she met a handsome man on Ashley Madison, who she now calls her boyfriend. Her husband doesn't know about him, and they meet up at her house once a week while her husband is at work.

Shelby said she gave up on initiating sex with her husband three years ago, since he seems more interested in watching television. When they do have sex at his request, it's about "getting him off," Shelby said.

She's now having the best sex of her life with her affair partner, but she still wouldn't end her marriage over it.

"I still look at him and his beautiful eyes and I fall in love with him all over again. The only thing I'm missing is that sexual connection. I would never leave my husband for anyone," Shelby said.

Planning and and executing a Christmas affair

Last Christmas, in a moment of loneliness, Kelly said she "stepped out" on her Ashley Madison boyfriend. He was spending time with his wife and children and her husband had gone to bed, so Kelly met up with a friend-with-benefits, also from Ashley Madison, at a hotel.

The first time Shelby tried the affair website was eight years ago. She went on one date, but didn't end up in bed with him. After the date, work demands, family needs, and guilt over cheating caused her to let the connection fizzle out, Shelby said.

Last December, she revisited the website when she noticed that her husband still didn't want to have sex, despite living in constant close quarters throughout the pandemic with their now-grown children out of the house.

Meeting her out-of-state affair partner was ideal, Shelby said, because of her involvement in her neighborhood and community.

This year, flight prices and schedules could impact their Christmas affairs

After Shelby had her first orgasm with her affair partner, she felt hooked, she said.

"I think for maybe two weeks I was constantly texting him. It was like I was hooked on chocolate or something," she told Insider.

They see each other when she travels to his state for work, which is six hours away by flight. But with flight prices surging, Shelby is unsure if she'll get to sleep with him this Christmas. If things remain out of their budget, she's excited to fly to him in the new year, Shelby said.

She said her affair has renewed her sense of self. She finally sees herself as desirable, and wonders if her husband sees the same thing.

"I find myself spending time looking in the mirror, in my birthday suit, finding my body and myself so appealing. I'm still sexy and I still look good in my clothes," Shelby said. "I don't know if my husband is just complacent. I don't know if he's content."

Kelly said her boyfriend gave her a brighter outlook and something to look forward to. Since meeting him, she's had more success in her professional life than ever before, she said.

He's spending time with his own family for Christmas this year, which disappoints Kelly, but she said she understands this is how it has to be.

"I have a better idea of what it is that I need and want that will make me happy," Kelly said.