- Cara Delevingne takes a masturbation class on her new show "Planet Sex."
- I spoke with Lola Jean, the sex educator who taught Delevingne. She also offers her class online.
Heading to a recent Galentine's Day gathering (Valentine's Day for your girlfriends, for the uninitiated), I toted along a brand new vibrator. I believed it to be the perfect on-theme gift to raffle off to party attendees, as we were all instructed to "wear lingerie, or anything that makes you feel sexy."
It was a hit, and the acquaintance who won the new toy was ecstatic. But when talk of the sleek vibrator morphed into a conversation about how we all masturbate, I was shocked to learn some of the twenty-something women hadn't ventured from climaxing with their shower heads and hands. One said she was worried vibrators would desensitize her vagina (a myth), and another divulged that she'd never orgasmed, neither alone nor with a partner.
It's a topic model and mainstream queer icon Cara Delevingne explores in "Planet Sex," a BBC and Hulu documentary series she hosts, which aired its first episode on February 14. In the second episode "The Orgasm Gap," Delevingne takes an in-person masturbation class in New York City.
I spoke to Lola Jean, the sex educator, professional dominatrix, and squirting world record holder who created and led the training.
Fear and shame can make it difficult to enjoy masturbation or experiment with it
At the start of masturbation class, which they practiced clothed while laying in a circle on the padded floor, Delevingne sets the intention to have less shame "about having a vagina."
Delevingne attends the class as part of her investigation into what experts call the orgasm gap, or the fact that men climax more frequently than women due to a societal focus on penetrative sex.
Sticking to your tried-and-true method is a great start, Jean told her students on "Planet Sex." But discovering new "buttons" to push can help you feel closer to yourself, leading to more pleasurable solo and partnered sex, she said. The practice also has health benefits like decreasing stress, improving sleep, and getting rid of headaches, according to Nicole Prause, a neuroscientist studying sexual behavior and physiology.
Jean used a plush model of labia, a vulva, and vagina to teach the class new masturbation techniques. Delevingne expressed her fear over doing the exercise with the lights on, so she wore a lace face mask to shield her eyes after Jean walked them through five techniques and told them to try themselves. After, Delevingne, who kept her mask on the whole time, said she didn't orgasm during the exercise, but she and the others expressed their gratitude for trying something new in a safe and non-judgmental environment.
"It's really about giving them a starting point so that they can explore on their own with confidence," Jean told Insider.
Trying a new masturbation technique could help unlock your sexuality
During a March 2021 Goop podcast episode, Delevingne said she felt "disgusted" and "ashamed" of her sexuality while growing up in an "old fashioned household."
In recent years, she's become a bit of an outspoken sexuality icon. But 30-year-old Delevingne says she still has much to explore about her sexuality, including how she masturbates. While meeting up with Jean and a group of about 10 women and non-binary people, the model admitted she only tried experimenting with her self-love routine once.
Others in the circle raised their hands to show they had similar experiences. In a previous scene from the same episode, one woman who appeared to be in her late twenties said she never used a sex toy like a vibrator before.
According to Jean, who teaches virtual and in-person versions of the course, overcoming feelings of shame and guilt is typically the biggest challenge for attendees. After having the opportunity to touch themselves in new ways (it's not a requirement to attend, Jean told Insider) she has noticed her students are filled with emotion, either crying out of joy or the painful realization they've been missing out on certain types of pleasure.
"Maybe you leave here finding one thing you like, 10 things you like, or none of them, and all of that is great. At the very least, it really just gives people permission to not like the thing that everyone is supposed to like," so they don't feel like how they masturbate has to fit into a box, Jean said.
5 new techniques to try, according to Delevingne's self-love teacher
During the episode "The Orgasm Gap," Jean demonstrates a few self-love strategies using her hand and a plush anatomical vulva and vagina, complete with labia.
She referred to the first masturbation technique she taught as a "sandwich." To try it, you gently squeeze your inner and outer labia together. The light pressure could feel enjoyable for someone who experiences a lot of genital sensitivity, according to Jean.
"Knuckling," or curling one hand into a loose fist and then drumming lightly with your knuckles on the inner labia, is another way to apply light and pleasurable touch, she said.
She also demonstrated "chopsticking," where you make an inverted peace sign with one hand then run those two fingers up and down your labia.
When Jean introduced the technique she called "motorcycle revs," Delevingne's eyes grew saucer-like. To try it, someone inserts their middle and ring fingers inside the vagina, then makes upwards "revving" motions, rocking up and down to stimulate the clitoris with each movement.
For shy beginners, Jean said going back to a simple motion, where you use a flat and down turned hand to sweep from the bottom of the vulva to the top of it, is a way to dip your toes into more adventurous masturbation.