- I gave birth to my first child in March 2020 as the pandemic was starting to shut down the US.
- Raising a child during lockdown made me reconsider having more kids in the future.
Before having our baby, my husband and I were undecided about how many kids we wanted to have. But when I gave birth in March 2020, as the pandemic shut down the US, our lives were suddenly filled with more anxiety than I could handle.
Since then, I've started taking anxiety medication. More importantly, we made up our minds that we'd be a "one and done" family.
The isolation of new parenthood during the pandemic
The pandemic has caused a lot of stress for parents like me. I was new to
Between the beginning of lockdowns and the birth of my baby, I had near panic attacks almost every day because my husband still had to go to work in person. During my maternity leave, I felt alone, isolated, and overwhelmed.
Although we allowed my parents to come over a couple of times to meet their first grandchild, I didn't have anyone whom I could call to help as I struggled with the transition to motherhood.
My husband was home for that first month - and that was a huge help - but after his paternity leave ended, I would watch the clock until he got home from work so that I could hand him our baby, even if for a few minutes.
I hated the awkwardness of video chatting with a lactation consultant and how difficult those sleepless nights and days were without any kind of a break. Although things have gotten better as my son has gotten older, I can't imagine going through all of that again. With no real end in sight to the pandemic, I just can't have another baby.
Doing all of this again with little help, and with a toddler running around, is more than I can handle.
Choosing to be one and done during pandemic times
I've never experienced so much stress and anxiety as I did during those first few months of my son's life. That's saying a lot as someone with a lifelong generalized anxiety disorder. Besides the regular parenting stress, safety was also a huge issue for me.
Although both my husband and I are now vaccinated, our 18-month-old isn't eligible for vaccination. And if I'm honest, I don't believe we'll ever truly get back to what life was before COVID-19. We now live with the constant fear of getting sick.
Like many other working parents, I was also worried about our financial stability. My husband's job was safe, but my hours at work were slashed in half for the first year of my son's life. I realized fairly quickly, as we struggled with our budget, that financial stability was important to us.
Things have stabilized a little bit since the beginning of the pandemic, and although we're both now making more than ever, I still stress over our finances. Especially because childcare is so expensive, even for just one child. I can't imagine doubling that expense.
By the time our son turned 1, we both knew that being a "one and done" family felt right to us. And I'm glad to find out now, instead of after having a second child, that my mental