The hosts of MTV's 'Help! I'm in a Secret Relationship!' share their tips to know if your partner is keeping you a secret

• MTV's show "Help! I'm in a Secret Relationship!" returns Tuesday.
• The premise of the show is helping people who are in secret relationships get to the truth.

Most secrets fall somewhere along the spectrum of harmless omissions to outright lies. But what if someone you love is keeping a huge secret, and it turns out that secret is you?

MTV's hit series "Help! I'm in a Secret Relationship!" which returns Tuesday with 12 new episodes, deals with this question. The docuseries features the hosts Travis Mills and Rahne Jones as they travel around the US to help people "peel back the curtain on their love lives and personal lives to get to the truth," Jones told Insider.

Guests on the show have been emotionally manipulated into keeping their relationships a secret. Despite being patient and fully invested in the relationship, they discover that their loved one's friends and family members have no idea who they are.

"Rahne and I are coming in as a last resort to help them save this relationship," Mills told Insider. He and Jones talked to Insider about the reasons for keeping a loved one hidden and why anyone can be deceived by the people seemingly closest to them.

What they post or don't on social media can be telling

All relationships are different, but a sign your loved one may be living a double life is not introducing you to any of their friends or family members. Maybe a year has passed, and you still haven't been to their home.

Social-media habits can also be telling. Your partner or friend may refuse to take photos with you or object to your posting them on social media.

"There are great lengths people go through to hide someone," Jones said. Mills agreed, adding, "We've also had people that would only take their partner out on dates in a separate state and would drive across state lines."

Even when the relationship doesn't end well, it's like a weight off their chest to know where they stand. "It's beautiful to watch someone who's been gaslit and stonewalled throughout the relationship finally stand up in their truth and demand these answers," she said.

Anyone is vulnerable to manipulation

Deception doesn't usually happen overnight. "It can happen to anybody if you don't stay vigilant enough and ask tough questions," Jones said. "I think it's a universal truth that we want to be loved, and sometimes we are clouded by that desire."

Something might feel wrong in your gut, but you don't want to start over, or you think you'll never find anyone else. Or you worry about confronting someone when there's an engagement or marriage at risk or a decadeslong friendship that's on the line.

Most people come on the show wondering how they got to this point in their relationship and don't feel like themselves anymore. "I think that's why the show is so relatable because it really could happen to anybody," Mills said.

Along with getting answers, the hosts try to empower people to do what feels right for them and their relationships. "I feel like a lot of people are looking for these external fixes and solutions when really you need to turn inward and equip yourself with tools so that it won't happen again," he said.

Intentions matter more than what you post online

Before social media, you might have told a few friends and family members about dating someone new. Now, there's added pressure to share and more people scrutinizing your significant other.

When you're deciding what to post, "if it's done with the right intention, then there is no perfect time or right or wrong answer," Mills said. "I think if you're trying to get back at an ex and so you're posting photos with someone new to make them jealous or doing it out of spite, then obviously, that's not healthy."

A red flag that Jones has seen on the show is someone blocking their partner with whom they're in a long-term relationship. Apart from this example, there aren't any hard-and-fast rules with respect to social media since no two relationships are the same.

If social media is important to you, it's best to communicate this to your partner. Maybe it's your way of showing them love and celebrating your life together. "There has to be a level of understanding, and everyone has to be on the same page," Jones said.

It's an emotional process, but you can move forward

On the show, when people learn the truth about their relationship, some choose to forgive right then and there, Jones said. Others decide to end the relationship or don't come to a resolution.

These are not easy conversations to have with a loved one, especially if you despise confrontation. "Oftentimes, you are met with a ton of excuses and people shutting down or diverting the conversation, so it definitely helps to have a third party like Rahne and me there to hold people accountable," Mills said.

The failure to set boundaries is frequently a factor in how you get into these secret relationships. "But once you do learn to set boundaries, you become so powerful and resilient, and you won't let anyone take advantage of you," he added.

For the hosts, it's hard to avoid getting emotionally invested in the stories they're attempting to unravel. "Traveling around and experiencing a day in the life of so many different people from all different walks of life just makes me feel really grateful for what I do have and the people I choose to have in my life," Mills said.

Sometimes emotions are running high, and "you do not like what people have to say and how they're coming off," Jones said. "So, you do have to take a step back and realize that you are there in support of someone else."

Nandini Maharaj is a freelance writer covering health, wellness, identity, and relationships. She holds a master's degree in counseling and a doctorate in public health.