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The first 'House Hunters' throuple opened up about losing work and friends over their relationship

Feb 24, 2021, 02:49 IST
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  • The first throuple on real-estate show "House Hunters" said their life isn't as easy as it seems on screen.
  • Geli, Brian, and Lori spoke to GQ about the professional and social discrimination they face.
  • Polyamorous people don't have the same protections under the law as monogamous couples.
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The first-ever throuple on the popular real-estate show "House Hunters" are opening up about the discrimination they face in their non-traditional and consensually non-monogamous relationship.

In a February 23 GQ article about their life, Geli, Lori, and Brian - co-parents to a 12- and 14-year-old - told reporter Gabriella Paiella that despite their television debut, they still receive judgment from other parents and coworkers.

In some cases, the discrimination can be life-altering, like when Brian had a job offer rescinded upon his future employer learning about his relationship.

It's a common way polyamorous people, or people who have more than one romantic or sexual partner, experience prejudice, despite strides in social acceptance and visibility for consensually non-monogamous relationships. That's because most states doesn't protect their rights under the law, the way monogamous parents and couples are protected.

Non-monogamous relationships are more common, but the stigma remains

"We wanted to put the normalcy of being in a non-monogamous relationship out there," Lori, who is legally married to Brian and fell in love with Geli after they met in 2015, told GQ of their decision to go on "House Hunters."

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In recent years, more people have been open about their non-monogamous relationships, or the possibility of one.

A January 2020 YouGov survey of more than 1,300 US adults found one-third classified consensual non-monogamy, which includes polyamory, open relationships, and/or swinging, as their ideal dynamic. In 2015, one-fifth of respondents had that attitude.

But societal stigma around alternative relationships remains and can cause people to lose family, friends, and coworkers when they disclose their choices.

Divorcees can weaponize their ex's current or previous polyamorous relationship to suggest they're an unfit parent and get better custody agreements, Elisabeth A. Sheff, a consensual non-monogamy researcher for more than 15 years, wrote on Psychology Today.

Sheff went on to write that that conservative and religious grandparents and Child Protective services employees who value monogamy wrongly assume polyamorous parents are bad influences on their own children.

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These assumptions bleed into work relationships too. Polyamorous people often hide their personal lives to avoid discrimination, according to Sheff.

It's one reason why Geli, Lori, and Brian decided to do "House Hunters" in the first place.

'You're going to find out who your real friends are'

Despite the support they've received from their families and neighbors upon the airing of the episode, Geli, Lori, and Brian still deal with discrimination.

Brian said he had a job offer in his industry of sports marketing taken back when the employer found out he was polyamorous.

There were also streams of negative comments on social media following the "House Hunters" episode that were difficult to ignore, Geli told GQ's Paiella.

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Though lots of parents in their Colorado Springs community have been accepting and welcoming, Brian told GQ his children also have had to deal with the stigma. He said, for example, one parent saw the TV episode and then barred their child from hanging out with Brian's in the future.

"You're going to find out who your real friends are and who's understanding and who's not," Brian told GQ.

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