Science- Aleeza Ben Shalom, an American matchmaker based in Israel, sets up clients across the globe, with a large base in the US.
- Shalom said there are key differences to dating in Israel versus the US because of family-related cultural norms.
If you're single and ready to mingle, you're bound to find others interested in a meet-cute. But depending on where you are in the world and the cultural norms at play, the dating vibes can differ quite a bit.
When it comes to dating in the United States versus Israel, for example, the focus on family sets the two apart, according to Aleeza Ben Shalom, the resident matchmaker on Netflix's new series "Jewish Matchmaking."
Ben Shalom, an Orthodox Jew, lives in Israel with her husband and five children, but is from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and lived in the United States when she was single. She also launched her international matchmaking and date-coaching services in 2007 while living stateside.
Though Jews in both the United States and Israel have diverse religious and cultural traditions, Israelis in their twenties tend to be more family-focused than American singles of the same age who act more independently, Ben Shalom told Insider.
Dating for marriage is more common in Israel
According to Ben Shalom, twenty-something singles in Israel tend to be more "motivated" to get married as an end goal in dating.
"They're wanting to make it happen and they're very serious about the process," Ben Shalom told Insider.
She said that there are plenty of secular non-religious people living in Israel. But since the culture is so family-oriented, most people want to settle down with a lifetime partner regardless of their religious beliefs, Ben Shalom said.
"Even if you're secular and you want to be with your single friends, you still see community, you see family, and that really comes first," she said.
Serious and committed dating typically happens later for US singles
In the United States, twenty-something singles are more likely to value independence over getting married and starting a family, Ben Shalom said. On average, American women get married at almost 29 and American men get married at about 30, according to the latest US Census Bureau data from 2021.
She said that she's notice a larger focus on personal autonomy in the US, with young people prioritizing their careers, financial independence, and the ability to live away from family.
"You might not realize you want to get married until you're 35, you have your job and your house, and you feel much more settled and financially secure," Ben Shalom told Insider.
She added that there are plenty of older singles in Israel too, like widows and divorced people, who she's successfully helped find a second marriage partner.
Meeting the parents happens on different timelines
Since young Israeli singles are more likely to make a concerted effort to get married, the dating process usually moves along more quickly, according to Ben Shalom.
In Israeli, if someone is serious about marriage and meets someone they like, the wedding process can be quick, Ben Shalom said. There, it's normal for someone to introduce their date to their parents within a couple of weeks of dating, she said.
Sharon Feiereisen, a freelance writer who splits her time between the US and Israel, wrote that she also noticed how meeting the parents can happen over a period of weeks, rather than months, in Israel.
According to Ben Shalom, it wouldn't be unheard of for a couple to meet, go on 10 dates, get engaged, and get married three months later in Israel.