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Tantric sex students say gurus have used the promise of enlightenment to sexually abuse their students

Aug 21, 2020, 00:10 IST
Insider
Saskia Mahler said tantric sex guru Narcis Tarcau convinced her to have sex, saying it would help her heal from childhood trauma.Netflix
  • Tantric sex, which focuses on slowed-down and meditative techniques to promote full-body pleasure, has become a popular wellness practice since it was created in 1905.
  • Proponents say it can help people have the best orgasms of their lives. But reports of tantric sex gurus sexually abusing followers have overshadowed the practice.
  • In the Netflix docuseries "(Un)well," one woman shared her story of how a guru manipulated her into sex.
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If staring into your partner's eyes and moaning for the duration of sex could give you the best orgasm of your life, would you do it?

Netflix's new docuseries "(Un)Well" explores that question in its tantric sex episode, which looks at the potential benefits of the 115-year-old practice that focuses on slowed-down sex, full-body pleasure, and mindfulness.

At tantric sex retreats and one-on-one sessions, students learn techniques like breathing in sync with their partners, maintaining eye contact during sex, and focusing on the the deep connection they feel towards one other.

But sexual abuse scandals have overshadowed the practice. In an episode of "(Un)Well," former tantric sex students shared accounts of gurus convincing them to have sex in exchange for spiritual awakening.

A woman said a tantric-sex guru used the promise of healing to rape her

Netflix

The use of religious jargon and fixation on sex as a path to spiritual awakening has contributed to sexual manipulation in some tantric sex organizations, therapist and cult specialist Rachel Bernstein said in the episode.

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Participant Saskia Mahler talked about about her experience at tantric sex group Agama Yoga in Thailand, where she alleges the group's leader, Narcis Tarcau, sexually abused her.

During a retreat in Thailand, Mahler told Tarcau about her goal to heal from childhood trauma.

"I was really hoping to control this anger that I carried, which was mostly against men through trauma I have with my father in my early childhood," Mahler said in the episode.

According to Mahler, Tarcau said he could help if she allowed him to give her a "yoni massage," and she agreed since other women at the retreat also had massages with him and appeared more confident afterwards.

But once she met with Tarcau for the massage, Mahler said their were no boundaries.

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Mahler alleges that Tarcau said he could best heal her if he penetrated her with his "lingham," the Sanskrit word for penis.

"Without any consent he completely abused me on every level possible," Mahler said in the episode.

Agama Yoga denied the accusations to Netflix's producers. The organization didn't respond to Insider's request for comment.

Cult experts say gurus can use the promise of enlightenment to manipulate followers

Tarcau isn't the only tantric sex workshop leader to be accused of sexual abuse and manipulation.

Yoga gurus, too, have been accused of using spiritual language and promises of enlightenment to convince followers to cross their boundaries.

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According to Bernstein, enlightenment gurus' sexual abuses can often be insidious because they use promises of sexual and spiritual awakenings to convince followers to cross personal boundaries they otherwise may not.

Bernstein said the people who gurus have taken advantage of sexually are often already vulnerable and hope to heal at these tantric sex retreats, but their experiences could lead to deeper traumatization.

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