Taking a muay Thai class changed how I look at exercise. Now I worry less about burning calories and focus on how it makes my body feel.

• I've always looked at exercise as a way to burn the most calories possible.
• On vacation in Thailand, I took a muay Thai class — and it changed the way I look at wellness.

I woke up at quarter past six to the piercing blare of my iPhone alarm. It took me a few seconds to realize I was no longer in my familiar bedroom in New York City, but in a king-sized bed at the lush Anantara resort in Hua Hin, Thailand. Outside, I heard the faint shouts of a mother trying to get her kids out of the pool and ready for breakfast. The idea of breakfast made me nauseous; at the time, I was of the belief that my breakfast wasn't earned until I worked out.

As a child, I was often told by South Asian "aunties" that I would be prettier if I was skinnier. Other relatives called me "healthy," which in South Asian culture is analogous to calling someone chubby or overweight. These unsolicited labels and unprompted fitness and diet advice stuck with me over the years.

Though I felt an urge to become the smallest version of myself possible, I was intimidated by fitness. In my mind, there was a voice always telling me that I would be mocked for showing up at the gym, or that I simply wouldn't know how to start exercising. When I finally signed up for a gym in my mid-20s, thanks largely to my now-husband, I became obsessed with trying every fitness regime to lose the few pounds I was constantly criticized for.

Fitness and wellness has always meant burning as many calories as possible

My skewed definition of wellness over the past few years has been to find a workout that will burn the maximum calories and help me meet the goals I set on my Apple Watch — until I learned about muay Thai.

On that particular morning in Thailand, I walked to the gym with the intention of burning over 400 calories in a 45-minute period. Upon arrival, I saw a pair of gloves, some hand wraps, and a thick punching bag waiting for me. The seasoned instructor nodded at my wrist and motioned for me to take off my beloved watch and my sneakers. He started off demonstrating two basic punches of the nine that are standard in muay Thai: the jab and the cross, followed by a high kick and low kick.

"Your turn," he said. We repeated a few iterations of different patterns, and the 45 minutes flew by.

Muay Thai taught me mental fortitude

Don't get me wrong. I've participated in a number of boxing classes before, but this muay Thai experience was different, partially because of the mental element involved in the practice. Historically, muay Thai has been traced to the 13th-century Sukhothai dynasty of Thailand, where it was used as a combat sport for army soldiers to defend the kingdom. Over time, it evolved into a martial art and combat sport that that differs from traditional boxing by incorporating moves that use your elbows, knees, kicks, sweeps, and clinching.

The mental strength and intense concentration that practitioners develop is necessary to anticipate a partner's next move and to remain centered and balanced when tackling an opponent. You also need patience and control over your aggression, as well as the stamina to maintain your form and guard yourself throughout a match.

When speaking with the instructor, I also learned that muay Thai is rooted in Buddhist principles — unsurprising, given that 95% of people in Thailand practice Buddhism. Despite it being a physically combative sport, the spiritual aspects of it follow Buddhist ideologies, mainly about respecting one's body, soul, and spirit and believing that each person has the ability to be happy just as they are.

The term "self-compassion" was not previously in my vocabulary, but after that workout, I realized I needed to develop the instinctive ability to be considerate to myself, especially when it came to my body image. Muay Thai doesn't focus on a person's aesthetic; the sport is designed to promote respect for opponents and yourself and use the body as a tool. The instructor and I understood each other through movement, which transcended our language barrier.

I took these lessons back to New York with me

When I returned to New York, I researched all the muay Thai gyms in a five-mile radius to my apartment. This time, the goal in finding a place to exercise was not to use it as a path to slimness, but to find a routine that teaches me mental fortitude, endurance, and, most important, to be kind to my body.

In searching for ways to be empathetic to myself, I found kindness in others, most notably the muay Thai instructors who welcomed me and made me feel like I belonged despite my inexperience. And I stopped wearing my Apple Watch. My fitness journey and level of health are worth more than arbitrary numbers on my wrist.