Taking a break from your newborn doesn't make you a bad parent. Here are 6 myths you may believe about having a baby.

• As a new parent, you might think having a baby will look or feel a certain way.
• When those beliefs aren't met, it can leave you surprised, upset, or feeling guilty.

New moms and dads have lots of expectations of what being a parent will look and feel like. But often those expectations aren't met, maybe because they're not realistic, leaving them feeling bad, sad, or both. Here are some new parent myths to bust right now, so that you can lower the bar you — or your friends, or society — set for yourself and enjoy your newborn without the guilt, worry, or self-doubt.

Myth: Bonding with your baby happens immediately

Though some parents fall in love with, and feel a deep connection to, their baby the moment they set eyes on her, for other new moms and dads, the puffy-faced, crying, squirmy baby they meet doesn't engender much love or attachment at first. Not only is that normal, it also doesn't make you a bad parent. The love that you're hoping for will come with time and through every interaction with your new baby.

Myth: You'll enjoy every minute of being a parent

Yes, you will enjoy being a parent. Maybe you'll love it most of the time. But there will be times — and for some new moms and dads, lots of times — when you won't. It's hard to care for a squalling baby who rarely sleeps, needs to be fed seemingly all the time, doesn't smile or interact much, and needs round-the-clock attention. And you may feel anxiety about doing everything "right" bubble up and sap the joy out of parenting.

What you're feeling is extremely common. Appreciate that you're brand new at this, and that not only are there bound to be fumbles, but also moments of dissatisfaction and despair. And certainly don't feel guilty or upset when it's hard to feel good about your new reality. If you're feeling especially unhappy, however, be sure to seek help. Postpartum depression is common but very treatable, so speak up if you're suffering.

Myth: Breastfeeding comes naturally

It's recommended that you put your baby on your breast right in the delivery room, as soon after birth as possible. Amazingly, your baby's instinctual ability to find the breast and suck is extremely strong after birth, so it's really the perfect time for that first introduction to nursing. But just because breasts are made for breastfeeding doesn't mean that breastfeeding will be effortless at first. After all, you're both learning what to do.

So don't worry if it doesn't feel perfect on the first day. Or on the third day. Or even in the second week. It can take weeks — and perhaps some help from a lactation consultant — for breastfeeding to become second nature. So, give it time and don't give up, unless, of course, you're absolutely miserable — nursing isn't for everyone, so do what feels best for you.

Myth: You'll be able to manage it all on your own

Every new parent can use a helping hand or two, and there's no shame in needing and asking for help. Trying to manage it all on your own is certainly doable for some new parents, but you're not going to get a medal or win a prize for handling it solo. Ask for help from your partner, your family, your friends, a neighbor, paid help if you can afford it, or anyone else willing to lend a hand.

Something else to keep in mind: Becoming a new parent can sometimes feel lonely. If your friends aren't in the baby business yet, you may feel disconnected from them. Your relationships with coworkers may change now that you have competing priorities. If family isn't close by or if they're not helpful, you may feel isolated.

Creating for yourself a new network of parents, whether it's at the neighborhood playground or on social media, can help make the first year a little less lonely. Talking about your emotions with a friend, your partner, or a therapist can help ease your struggle. Even taking a walk outdoors with your baby and making eye contact with strangers can make you feel less isolated than sitting alone at home.

Myth: It's bad to need a break from your baby

Something that may surprise you about becoming a new parent is how all-consuming it is. There's never a time when you don't have something to do or think about, and there's never enough time in the — exhausting — day to get things done.

Truth is, while there's little natural opportunity for "me time," it's good practice to take a break from your baby when you can — and not feel guilty about it. Not only is there nothing bad about needing a respite from your baby, but a little time away can help you recharge so you feel ready to tackle another day. Even a few minutes in a different room can make a world of difference.

Myth: You're doing something wrong if your baby cries

All babies cry. Period. Full stop. It's the way they communicate their needs. You're not doing anything wrong if, or when, your baby cries. In fact, you're likely doing everything right, because you're responding as best you can. Continue to remind yourself, even — or especially — when things get rough, that when your baby cries, you're learning about what she needs, likes, wants, and feels — and that's a good thing!

Excerpted from "Bite-Sized Parenting: Your Baby's First Year" (BenBella Books, September 19, 2023). Reprinted with permission from BenBella Books.