- Parents who've raised a CEO, a celebrity chef, and soccer stars suggest teaching independence early.
- Their advice includes instilling in children values like respect, acceptance, and humility.
There might not be a more challenging role on this planet than parent. The hours are endless, and the sleepless nights are countless. Raising high-achieving children to be successful adults can be even harder.
Three parents whose kids grew up to be impressive adults say parents should do three things to raise successful children.
Teach your children to be independent
Esther Wojcicki, an educator who wrote the book "How to Raise Successful People" and founded the Palo Alto High School Media Arts Program, raised three girls: Susan, the former CEO of YouTube; Anne, the CEO of 23andMe; and Janet, a doctor and professor of pediatrics.
Wojcicki said none of her daughters stood out when they were little as having special characteristics that would lead them into leadership roles.
"My No. 1 goal was to teach them to believe in themselves, and I started that when they were born," Wojcicki told Business Insider.
She said that when they were about a year old she taught them to swim, and when they were about 18 months old she taught them how to make their own breakfast by picking out cereal and pouring milk. She let them watch only two TV programs: "Mister Rogers" and "Sesame Street."
"What I was trying to do is make them independent. So by the time they completed high school, they didn't need me anymore," Wojcicki said. "That is what really made the difference."
Zarela Martinez, a former restaurateur and Mexican cookbook author in New York, raised her twin sons as a single mom. One of her boys, Aarón Sánchez, became a celebrity chef.
Martinez said that when her son started showing interest in following in her footsteps and becoming a chef, she told him: "You have to develop your style. You can't copy my style."
Martinez said she had her sons work as early as 7 years old, even if just for a few hours. She said they worked the coat check at her restaurant because she wanted them to learn the value of hard work and independence.
César Roldán is a mechanic who migrated to the US in 1982 during a civil war in his native Guatemala. He then met and married his wife, Ana, who'd emigrated from El Salvador, and they raised three boys in Pico Rivera, a small town east of Los Angeles.
Today, all three of their sons are employed by Major League Soccer. Cristian and Alex are a midfielder and a defender for the Seattle Sounders, and the eldest, César Jr., is the head athletic trainer for the LA Galaxy.
Roldán said his oldest son did everything himself when applying to colleges; he was the first one in the family to go to college, and no one knew how to help him with school research and paperwork.
Teach your kids values like respecting others
Martinez said she thinks the most important value she passed down to her boys is consideration for other people. "Be accepting of other people, not criticizing, and not being hurtful," Martinez said.
"The other thing that I taught them was how to converse and how to listen," she added. "I have a lot of friends who excel at all different kinds of fields, and they were exposed to all that, and they're very comfortable around no matter who it is."
Roldán said he told his boys "to respect people, stay grounded, and be humble."
Wojcicki said that "worrying about the world, not just about yourself, and helping those that are less fortunate" is crucial in parenting successful children.
As a parent, be a role model who embodies success
Martinez said she was a role model for her kids in that they "saw that I never stopped working."
Roldán said his boys saw how hard their parents worked to get jobs and build their lives in the US.
"I was working all night when they were growing up, and on Saturdays I didn't go to sleep because we had training in the morning. We sacrificed to invest in them, and they saw how we put effort in like a team," Roldán said. "They pay attention to those things, and they don't want to let us down."
He said that paid off, because now in professional soccer his sons have to work hard and sacrifice late nights so they can train.
Wojcicki said she modeled the behavior she wanted her daughters to follow.
"I was always somebody that was trying to make the world better," she said. "If I felt that consumers were being ripped off by false advertising that was making everybody's life worse, I spoke up about it."
Wojcicki said that her taking a stand throughout her daughters' childhoods helped her raise successful children.
"Kids do what you do. They follow the way that you are," she said. "They don't do what you say, and people need to realize that."