One of us spends spontaneously and one of us prefers to save. Here's how we've made it work for the past 10 years.

• My partner and I have different philosophies about money and budgeting.
• While I prefer to save for a rainy day, they often opt to spend and enjoy what they have.

Money — and how we deal with it — is often a major source of tension between couples. In fact, in a UK survey from the mutual-pensions and investments provider Royal London, money was the No. 1 issue couples reported fighting about, with one-third acknowledging incompatibilities regarding how they handled finances.

My relationship is no different. We're married and have been together for over a decade, but we've experienced our fair share of ups and downs, many of which have led to a question stemming from our two different financial ideologies: Is it better to spend and enjoy the moment, or save scrupulously to be better off in the long term? This query has fueled many late-night conversations.

I lean toward saving, often concerned that our financials will come crashing down, while they lean toward spending so we don't miss out on our youth and look back with regrets. However, we've figured out how to make it work.

We have separate bank accounts and a joint account for our shared bills

We have separate bank accounts, and whatever we individually earn is ours. This differs from how my parents have always done things. They have always pooled their money together, and it's worked for upward of 40 years. That's great for them; it's just not for us. We prefer to know exactly where we each stand and how much we have earned on our own.

We use a joint account for our shared monthly bills. We know how much needs to be in the account each month and when we started the account, our aim was to put in about half that amount. Occasionally, one of us needed to put in more than the other, depending on the circumstances, such as an unexpected bill or a spontaneous vacation.

Over time, our individual incomes have shifted, and we've decided to split our monthly bills proportionally, rather than 50-50. This has enabled us a level of flexibility when it comes to making decisions about career changes. Because we know we won't be expected to cover 50% of our expenses regardless of what we make, we've been able to make choices that make sense for us on multiple levels, not just financially.

We have different philosophies about money

While we rarely have heated arguments over money, there's a little bit of friction sometimes when we are deciding whether to spend or save. The most common thing is vacation.

I can go a good year without the need to go on a trip. My partner prefers to go away a few times a year. Even if I think that the cash can be better spent on improving the house or by saving it for a rainy day, I can also see their side of things. Getting out of town is good for our mental health, and the memories are priceless. To an extent, this is why we work. We always try to meet in the middle.

Our differences in thinking start with how we grew up. I grew up working class, while they were middle class. Vacations, for me, were big events outside the UK, where we're from; we saved up for years to go abroad. In comparison, my partner had regular vacations but stayed predominantly in the country.

It wasn't until we came together that we found a good middle ground. One year, we ended up going on several short, nearby European trips and then cut down on vacations for an extended period so we could save up and visit the US for the first time together.

Being flexible in the current economy is something we've had to adapt to together, considering not that long ago one spouse's salary could cover an entire household. Now that living costs are going up, we have to spend a little bit more in general just to get by and avoid spending as much on luxuries. It's a decision that makes neither of us happy, but it's out of our hands.

The rise in living costs influences big life events, such as when — or if — we should have children. Kids aren't cheap, after all.

Many conversations in recent years have been about when we'll be financially comfortable enough to have children and how much further that could constrain our lifestyle. Do we even want a newborn if we can't plan for their future and give them the childhood they deserve?

It's an ongoing conversation, and we're both taking cues from each other about finances — I'm treating myself to a new jacket without worry, while they now make weekly budgets.

I still grapple with whether saving or spending is the better way to go. One of my favorite memories is wrapped up in that thought process: a combination of long-term saving and spontaneous spending when I flew out to Spain on the last day of my partner's holiday to surprise them with a proposal, only to then fly them to another short holiday to celebrate. This took a long time to save for. Was it worth it? The look on their face when I showed up out of the blue with an engagement ring proved priceless.

Finding that balance has helped to create once-in-a-lifetime opportunities like this, something that neither of us would trade for the world.