My parents didn't hide my autism from me, and it gave me a sense of identity. Here's how to do the same.

• My parents compared me to Harry Potter when first talking about my autism diagnosis.
• It was an uplifting experience for me, and I hope that by sharing it I can help other parents.
• It's important to give kids skills to talk about their disability with others.

When my parents talked to me about my autism for the first time, it was an uplifting, powerful experience. I had a reason for why I was different and why I had certain strengths, weaknesses, and human quirks. I thought I was cool because of it.

Finding the right time was a decision they weighed carefully to make sure I would understand and feel empowered. Because I had such a positive experience, I want to share some recommendations for parents who are figuring out how to present their kids with their diagnosis.

Kids might be suspicious, so be honest

For learning and cognitive disabilities, in particular, kids might have a suspicion that something is wrong. Kids and teens with learning disabilities are regularly told that they're lazy, and knowing that they have a condition that makes it harder to read, do math, or learn can help boost their confidence and understanding without feeling ashamed of their challenges.

I never suspected I was different. I thought I was the cool kid while everyone else was weird. I did know I had a hard time making friends. When I look back on my childhood, I see that knowing I had autism clarified a lot of the different experiences I had growing up (apparently, most kids aren't playing with adults all the time in order to learn life and social skills).

Teach kids in an appropriate-to-them way

There is no right age for telling a child about a disability, or an "age appropriate" explanation (assuming someone's age correlates with their level of understanding is an outdated and harmful concept).

For my family, the appropriate age to tell me was when I was 9. My parents explained the diagnosis by relating it to Harry Potter, one of my passionate interests at the time. "You have magical powers like Harry Potter," my mom told me. She went on to explain how Harry Potter was different, just like me, and that different was not necessarily a bad thing. From then on, we focused on my strengths over my weakness. I felt empowered.

I had gotten my first taste of understanding autism from "The Baby-Sitters Club" books, where the babysitters were looking after a nonspeaking girl who had autism. It familiarized me with the concept, even though I didn't know much beyond that.

After that first conversation about Harry Potter, we got a little bit more technical. My mom broke out a workbook to help me understand my strengths and weaknesses, and we filled in some of the prompts together.

Give kids the skills to talk about their condition with others

One of the things I wasn't prepared for growing up was knowing when and how to tell other people about my autism.

I didn't develop any sense of autistic identity until my teenage years when I was invited to be a panelist at an Autism Society of America conference and met a crew of teens and young adults with autism.

Outside of that, my autism was something talked about with others on a need-to-know basis: with teachers or if a social situation went wrong.

Having self-advocacy skills is important, especially as kids creep closer and closer to adulthood. When we hit adulthood, our parents may not be able to advocate with or for us.

Not everyone will grow up to be open about their disability status or want to be, and that's OK. But having the tools to share when necessary is crucial.

Haley Moss is an attorney, author, and autistic advocate who is passionate about neurodiversity. You can visit her website at haleymoss.com.