My parents are dead. Here are the 5 most important things I've learned as executor.

• Both my parents died a few years apart when I was in my 30s.
• I wasn't prepared to be the executor of their estate, but have learned a lot in doing so.

I had big plans for my 30s: ask for a raise, move somewhere with more space for my dog — maybe even publish a book. I didn't plan to become executor of my parents' estate — but then my mom and dad died just a few years apart.

We all expect grief, but nobody tells you about the financial and legal hoops you'll have to jump through after the death of a loved one. Here are five crucial things I've learned about the process.

Stock up on death certificates

You can't accomplish anything without death certificates. Everyone will need a copy, from the life insurance agent to the cell phone company. When you select a funeral home or crematorium, they'll ask you to complete paperwork about the deceased — then they'll file that information with the county for the certificate.

Funeral homes often include some death certificates in their packages, but not always. We picked my dad's crematorium specifically because they offered the most certificates.

Even years later, you can request more certificates from the funeral home or directly from the county clerk. Yes, you may need more years later. And keep in mind they can get expensive, according to The Neptune Society, death certificates typically cost anywhere from $6 to $25 each.

Learn the difference between a will and a trust

Wills aren't as fancy as you might expect. Chances are you'll find your loved one's will inside a messy drawer, printed on regular computer paper — assuming they even have one.

When you do find a will (or nothing at all), you should visit the county clerk — with a death certificate, of course — and register it. If you're listed as executor, you're in charge of moving the estate through probate court, which ensures the deceased's debts are paid and the correct beneficiaries receive the correct assets.

Your loved one may have saved you the trouble by putting their largest assets — properties, investment accounts, etc. — into a trust. Instead of an executor, trusts have a successor trustee who takes over when the original trustee dies. Since the trust is still intact, it doesn't have to go through probate court.

My parents had a living trust — but they forgot to transfer one life insurance policy, so I had to go through probate anyway. Lucky me.

Befriend a notary public

You'll need a notary's signature almost as often as you'll need a death certificate. Notaries are government-appointed officials who verify your identity and the accuracy of whatever document you're filing. You'll need to sign the document in front of the notary — don't sign before you go see them. Then they'll stamp the paperwork and make it official.

How do you find a notary? Check your bank — they likely won't charge existing customers for notary services. Shipping stores like FedEx and UPS sometimes have notaries as well, but you'll have to pay. Or if you're me, you'll start crying, and the UPS notary will help you for free.

Consider geography

After selling our childhood home, my parents downsized to a condo in Wisconsin for summer and another in Florida for winter. I live in Kentucky. That means I had to navigate two different legal systems in order to settle my parents' affairs — and I had to do lots of unexpected traveling. I spent July in all three states.

Whenever you're researching next steps, remember to take state and county laws into account.

Lawyer up

Until my parents died, I'd never considered hiring a lawyer — I always assumed it was outside my budget. At first I tried to figure out the estate by myself. I'm a smart, capable 35-year-old. How hard could it be?

Very hard, as it turns out. When I realized I'd have to go through probate in Florida, I nearly broke down. That's when my uncle introduced me to his wonderful estate attorney — now she tells me exactly what I need to do.

Yes, estate lawyers are expensive — but if there's any way you can afford it, it's worth the cost. Life insurance money? What about legal aid? Having an expert on your side is much easier than going it alone.

The loss of my parents was heartbreaking enough — becoming an executor was an extra burden I don't wish on anyone. You can't avoid death, but you can prepare for the worst.