- I had a
miscarriage that caused me to hemorrhage and required a D&C to save my life. - All of my pregnancies ended with emergency surgeries.
I was born in 1973, the year that Roe v. Wade went into effect. When I was 20, I was told that I'd never be able to have children because I had fallopian-tube scarring from a previous medical condition.
I mourned this news for years. At 27 years old, I had my first unexpected pregnancy and birth. My second child followed in 2004. A year later I had a miscarriage that required surgery to save my life. And then five years after that I was pregnant with triplets and considered high risk.
It wasn't until I had these experiences that I appreciated how scary pregnancy could be and how much choices mattered.
All my pregnancies required emergency surgeries
At the end of my first pregnancy, I developed pneumonia. I had just moved to a new area and was commuting to work and my doctor's appointments. An ambulance rushed me across county lines to the hospital that had been providing my prenatal care. It became increasingly difficult to breathe, and I feared for my unborn baby's life. Soon after, my baby was struggling to breathe, too. He was delivered via emergency C-section.
By the end of my second pregnancy, I was getting daily ultrasounds to check the baby's growth. After an entire night spent in excruciating pain, I took myself to the hospital. They ran some tests and assured me everything was fine. As I was getting dressed to leave, my water broke. The nurses rushed in, ran some tests again, and informed me that I was in labor. The medical staff prepared me for another emergency C-section.
That was easy compared to what came next
On June 17, 2005, I had a miscarriage. The doctors told me I would continue to bleed, and that it was all a normal part of having a miscarriage, and then they sent me home. A couple of days later I began to hemorrhage.
I was in the bathtub, mourning the loss of my baby. Suddenly, strange things that looked like livers started floating in the bathwater. They were blood clots coming out of me. It was terrifying. My 5-year-old son ran into the bathroom when he heard my screams.
By the time I got to the hospital, my life was in danger. The doctors performed a dilation and curettage, or D&C, to stop the bleeding and hemorrhage so I wouldn't die.
A D&C is the same procedure whether it's used for a miscarriage or a termination.
5 years later, I was pregnant again
For my fourth pregnancy, I carried a set of unexpected triplets and was considered high risk. The law in California required me to receive genetic counseling. I was informed of the risks of carrying multiples and my right to choose selective reduction, which is a medical
Despite my fear of dying and losing one or more of my babies, I decided against the procedure. The selective reduction had similar risks to not having it done. Either way, my babies could have died. I went with the best chance of them living. I'm glad I wasn't wrong.
Not long after declining the procedure, I started bleeding. Doctors called it a "threatened miscarriage."
Memories of my previous miscarriage were still traumatic. I was afraid we might all die and wondered if I'd made the right decision by keeping all three babies.
The pregnancy stabilized until I was 29 weeks along, then my water broke and I developed a fever. The scene was chaotic, and an emergency C-section was performed to deliver the babies. The medical team couldn't even fit in the operating room. They set up outside it as well. Despite a difficult start in life, my micro-preemies survived.
All of my pregnancies were terrifying. Every one of them had a difficult beginning and ended in emergency surgery. I'm glad I had options and grateful to still be here with my children. I wouldn't wish the need to make these decisions on any woman. But if they're faced with making the decisions that I had to make, I can only hope they'll have choices.
That's what got me through these experiences. As scary as they were, I had options.