My in-laws didn't follow our rules and ended up with a mess. Now, they listen to what we tell them.

• My husband is an only child and his parents love to spoil our kids.
• We left our kids with them to celebrate his birthday and they didn't follow any of our rules.

My husband and I met and married in our 30s. My husband is an only child, and by the time we had our first child, his parents had practically given up hope of becoming grandparents. To say that my in-laws spoil our kids, their (unexpected) only grandchildren, is putting it mildly.

One year, for his birthday, I surprised my husband with an overnight getaway. We had two younger kids, a 4-year-old and a 1-year-old, so 36 hours of no responsibility seemed like the best kind of gift. I asked his parents if they would stay with our kids, even though I knew that they often didn't follow our rules.

My in-laws tossed our rules out the window

Our rules weren't wild. We limited sugar and screen time, had consistent bedtimes, and tried to get our kids to eat a well-balanced diet, like many parents.

However, I was dealing with a woman who got upset by the fact that we didn't want to give an infant sugar before the age of 1 — then tried to "compromise" with us by making cakes and cookies with Splenda. The rules often went unacknowledged or directly ignored.

However, we only live a couple of hours away from my in-laws, so we see them regularly. They often spent the night at our house, which meant it wouldn't be too unusual for our kids to wake up to Nana and Pop-Pop instead of Mom and Dad for one morning. They were, undoubtedly, the option the kids would be most comfortable with.

We asked. They said, of course, they'd be happy to stay with the kids. In a surprising move, my mother-in-law even asked me to write down the kids' schedules and what they ate, including any important information and things they should avoid. I happily complied, only to learn later that she tossed my notes immediately after we left.

A day packed with ice cream and hot dogs

We checked in by phone that evening, and it sounded like everything was going well. My husband and I went on our merry way, eating dinner on our own timeline, staying up, and sleeping in as late as we wanted. We all seemed to be having such a good time I briefly felt a little guilty for my concern over leaving the kids with my in-laws.

Until we returned home, and my 4-year-old proudly greeted us with, "I threw up all night!"

My mother-in-law did look a little abashed as we dug into what happened. It turned out that upon arrival, she immediately announced there were "no rules when grandma was in charge!" And let our 4-year-old eat (and do) whatever she wanted. Like many kids left to their own devices, ours stuffed herself with as much junk and sugar as possible. We were told she essentially lived on pancakes, hot dogs, ice cream, and candy for the day.

That night, an hour or two after falling asleep, our daughter woke up and called out to my mother-in-law that she didn't feel good. She then promptly began vomiting all over her bed, all over herself, and yes, all over Grandma. They stayed up all night until our poor kid got it all out of her system.

The silver lining of the experience

While it was a mess at the moment, there was a silver lining. First, our oldest child has a very balanced relationship with food these days, especially sugar. And, perhaps more importantly, our in-laws are a lot more respectful of our rules, following them more closely.

These days, all three of our kids spend weekends at my in-law's house regularly. They get a little extra sugar, sure. That's a benefit of being at grandma and grandpa's house. But no one ever barfs from too much indulging.