- My first marriage was over within months of our wedding.
- My plan was to enjoy being single again, but I very quickly found myself in a relationship.
I met my husband about five months after I married another man.
While that may sound scandalous, the story of how we fell in love is less about infidelity and more about how sometimes the universe gets a kick out of making you take a detour on your way to your destination.
Kenny and I met one September night at my cousin's going-away party — Kenny and my cousin's new boyfriend were roommates, and Kenny had been childhood friends with both my cousin and her brother. We struck up a conversation, and it didn't take long for us to discover that we loved the same author. Without realizing what we were doing, we'd stepped away from the rest of the partygoers huddled around the small bonfire so that we could talk about our other shared interests.
Not only were we both avid readers, but we both had a preference for horror movies and had found ourselves obsessed with the same television series. We were also both very drunk — which was why it was so easy for me to open up to him about my marriage.
My marriage was over before we got our wedding photos back
That April, I'd stood before a church full of the most important people in my life and promised to love and cherish my new husband for the rest of my days.
Even as I uttered the words I knew I had some reservations. But I didn't realize just how far off course our relationship had gotten until the reality of "until death do us part" set in on our honeymoon.
A month after we returned from our post-wedding celebration, we were talking about couples therapy. The following month we began a trial separation, and by July I was sobbing my way through an appointment with a divorce lawyer, trying to make sense of how my marriage was over before we'd even gotten a chance to see our wedding photos.
In an attempt to navigate the embarrassment and trauma, I decided to make it my mission to have as much fun as I could. For a 20-something-year-old divorcée, that meant hooking up with as many guys as humanly possible. That quest for a series of fun no-strings-attached flings was what motivated me to chat up the bearded stranger who loved Stephen King on a random September night.
I was drawn to him
But like I said, the universe loves to have a laugh, and even though I'd never planned to see Kenny after that night, I couldn't help but get drawn back into conversations with him in the weeks that followed. First we chatted over Facebook Messenger, then over text, and before long we were hanging out together.
By Christmas we were in a full-blown relationship, and my planned era of hookups ended before it ever really got started.
Now, 12 years later, I think about how different my life would've been if I'd decided to stay home to mourn my failed marriage instead of aggressively looking for fun.
Marrying my rebound was never part of the plan, but things couldn't have worked out better for me. Not only have I been married to my best friend for the past seven years, but we share three wonderful children.
This wasn't the life I expected when I got married in April 2010, but I have to admit that taking a few hairy detours to get here has been worth it.