My colon ruptured when I was 25 weeks pregnant, triggering early labor. We've visited the NICU that saved my son every year since.

• Lindsey Albarado has ulcerative colitis and needed major surgery.
• Her son was born at 25 weeks and spent 145 days in the NICU.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Lindsey Albarado. It has been edited for length and clarity.

When I was nearly 25 weeks pregnant, my colon ruptured. I'd been having a flare-up of ulcerative colitis since about 20 weeks, and doctors were trying to manage it until my baby was developed enough to have a chance at survival.

Once the rupture happened at 24 weeks, 6 days, I went septic. Both of us had only hours to live if doctors didn't operate to remove my entire colon. They warned that this would likely send me into early labor but said it would save my life.

Three days later, as I recovered in the intensive-care unit, my water broke at 9:15 p.m. My baby was born by 9:50. When the nurse checked on me before that, I was fully dilated and the head was in the birth canal. My husband couldn't even make it to the hospital in time, though my doctor did. Later, I realized I likely hadn't noticed labor pains because I was on morphine after the colon surgery.

We were expecting a daughter

We already had a 4-year-old daughter. After our 20-week anatomy scan, we did a gender reveal. My niece opened the card and told us we were having another girl. We had no idea that the ultrasound tech had slipped wrong information into the card.

When Ryder was born, he cried for a minute, but his lungs were too underdeveloped to continue breathing. Doctors whisked him away to a ventilator. I didn't even get to look at the baby, who I believed was a second daughter.

Later, my doctor came to check on me and asked the baby's name. We told her, and she said: "That's a funny name for a boy." I was stunned. My mom was in the room with me, and she was so excited that she told my husband before I could. Amid a lot of trauma, finding out we had a son was a bright spot.

I didn't see my baby for 3 days

The hospital where I delivered didn't have a neonatal intensive-care unit, so Ryder was transferred to Children's Hospital New Orleans. I was still recovering from not only birth but also the colon removal. I hadn't been able to see my baby, but when the team stabilized him for transport, they wheeled him into my room in a big travel incubator. That was the first good look I got at my son — who still had no name.

I couldn't hold Ryder until 77 days after his birth. We were both fighting for our lives, and I had a whole new perspective. We had been devastated when our older daughter needed to spend one night in the hospital without us because she was jaundiced. But our son would spend nearly five months — or 145 days — in the NICU.

We return to the NICU every year

Today, Ryder loves to act, sing, and play the piano. At 10, his voice is full and beautiful. Hearing him sing is amazing, especially because his lungs were so weak at birth that he could barely cry.

Each year on Ryder's birthday, we return to the NICU that saved his life. They not only took care of Ryder but also helped our family heal. It's important to me that our family cares for the people who cared for us.

Many of the doctors and nurses who cared for Ryder have moved on, but the staff still know his story. He gets to hug the doctor who saved him — who's still on staff. These doctors and nurses see so much bad, so it's amazing for them to see the best possible outcome of their work. Ryder embodies that.

I hope other NICU families make some happy memories amid the fear

When we visit, we also see families going through one of the worst times of their lives. Ryder gives them hope. They can see that it's possible for a tiny, sick baby to become a thriving 10-year-old.

I tell families to celebrate during their time in the NICU. It's stressful and traumatic when your baby needs medical care, but the fact that you just welcomed a new life should still be joyful. When Ryder was in the NICU, we still took monthly milestone pictures and dressed him up for holidays.

I thought I might not want to look back on those photos, but Ryder's first Christmas was significant, even though it was in a hospital. I'm so glad we can look back at memories from that phase of his life, just like we would if he were at home for his first four months.

Returning to the NICU has become therapeutic. Our family was able to turn a very scary situation into a positive and use that to help others. Our time in the NICU is further and further behind us, but I have no plans to stop the visits — they're our way of saying thank you.