My child came out as nonbinary at 6 years old. Here's what I've learned as their parent.

• At 6, my kid told me they were a "gender bender" and didn't feel like a boy or a girl.
• It's been a difficult learning curve, but I've supported my kid.

"I am fabulous!" My child stood at the top of the stairwell, hips cocked to the side, one hand raised in the air in a classic diva pose. They were wearing a leopard-print dress over a pair of camouflage cargo pants. Their backpack leaned against the wall next to them.

It had been a few weeks since I'd taken them shopping, watching their eyes light up as they touched dresses and skirts, asking, "For me? This is for me?" At first, I let my kid wear those new clothes only at home; I was too scared of how their classmates might react.

But the day they were standing at the top of the stairs was the first time they'd be heading out the door with the new clothes and their newfound identity as a nonbinary person.

Even as a toddler, my child was different

They didn't want to wear the clothes I got them and cried hysterically when I tried to get them dressed in the mornings. I didn't understand why, but they much preferred wearing clothes from the dress-up bin. I laughed this off as peculiar — not understanding what they were trying to tell me with their limited language.

Then, when my children were 6 and 7, I started dating someone who was nonbinary and used they/them pronouns. This was my first introduction to this, as well as my children's. My partner patiently explained the concept to my children, saying they were neither a girl nor a boy but somewhere in between and a little of both. They told them about gender, what it was, and that it's a spectrum.

Within days of meeting my new partner, my younger child told me, "That's me too, Mommy." I thought maybe it was just because they thought my new partner was cool and they wanted to be like them. But days went on, and they kept insisting that they, too, were nonbinary.

Soon after, their first-grade teacher sent home an assignment for students to write about themselves. My child wrote, painstakingly, "I'm like the air bender. I'm a gender bender." I thought back on all the times that they'd put on the princess dresses from the dress-up box and all the times they tried to take clothes from their sister. I remembered the Halloween they were 3 years old and wanted nothing more than to be a pink and purple sparkly dragonfly.

I realized this wasn't a phase. My child was only 6 years old, but they knew who they were and had for quite some time. They weren't a boy or girl but something in between. They'd been trying to tell me; they just hadn't had the language for it.

My job as a parent is to support them in becoming the best versions of themself

Sometimes support means helping them pursue a new passion or learn a hobby. Other times it means teaching them values and morals. Still other times — like this time — it means helping them to embrace their authenticity.

So I began using different pronouns, I took my child shopping for clothing and accessories that affirmed who they were, I advocated for them at the school, and I stood up for them and their rights in school-board meetings with other adults.

It was a learning experience for me, and I didn't always get it right. There were times that I thought it would be easier if they weren't nonbinary. There were times I stumbled over an answer when people asked whether I had a daughter or a son. There were times — still are times — that I feared for my child's safety because they were different. But through it all, my child maintained their identity, becoming stronger and stronger in self, proud and beautiful.

I learned from my child what it meant to be oneself unapologetically

I've learned from them that you must stay true to who you are — even in the face of adversaries or those who question you. I learned from my child's strength.

It was 10 years ago that my child stood at the top of the stairs proclaiming how fabulous they were. They've not wavered in who they are since the day they proclaimed that they were a "gender bender." Despite children teasing them, family not accepting their identity or pronouns, and all the obstacles of being nonbinary in a very binary culture, they have remained true to themself.

They are a senior in high school now, and they've given up the leopard dress for a daily outfit of black joggers and some sort of cat T-shirt. They aren't nearly as diva as they were back then, but in my eyes, they are still just as fabulous.