More millennials think sex is the most important part of a relationship than Gen Zers, despite perceptions that Gen Z is 'promiscuous'

• 14% of Gen Zers BI surveyed said sex was not at all or not very important in a relationship.
• Meanwhile, 10% of millennials and 5% of Gen Zers said sex was the most important part of a relationship.

More millennials think sex is the most important part of a relationship than Gen Zers do.

That's according to a survey from Business Insider in partnership with YouGov, which surveyed more than 1,880 American adults between the ages of 18 and 95 — including 647 Gen Zers over the age of 18 — on all things sex and relationships.

Respondents were asked how important they thought sex was in a relationship. Ten percent of millennials said sex was the most important part of a relationship, compared to just 5% of Gen Zers.

About the same number of Gen Zers and millennials — 74% — said sex was either somewhat or very important. But 14% of Gen Zers said they thought sex was either not at all important or not very important. Only 8% of millennials expressed the same sentiment.

While the number isn't huge, it is statistically significant and represents an overall decrease in the emphasis on sex as connected to romantic relationships.

"It could happen, it couldn't," 20-year-old Jayson Lorenzo told BI. "If it happens, cool. I'm not opposed to it. If it doesn't, cool, I'm not opposed to it."

Lorenzo, who identifies as queer and polyamorous, said that his feelings about the person trump sexual needs.

"I think it's more of a matter that I care about the person who I'm with to the point where I want to be in a relationship with them. I care about their comfortability. If they don't want to have sex, that's fine. If they do, sure, why not? Let's see what we can work around."

Cobie-Ray Johnson, a 24-year-old queer-identified bike messenger and freelance writer, said sex is a "bonus" and not "crucial" to her. She considers it more of a secondary aspect of a relationship.

"If I feel connected enough to someone, the sexual aspects that happen naturally off of that are really all that I need," she said. "I don't think that sex is an inherent need that I need fulfilled in a relationship."

The pandemic changed Gen Z's relationship to pleasure

But just because someone may care less about sex in terms of a relationship doesn't mean they don't care about pleasure, says Sue Milstein, an assistant professor of health studies at Springfield College. Because so many Gen Zers discovered their sexuality during the pandemic, they've figured out how to feel sexually satisfied on their own.

"We're seeing women, especially, exploring and toys and things like that. And so for them, they're getting what they need physically in terms of pleasure," Milstein told BI.

Gen Zers are looking to relationships to fulfill romantic and social needs without the pressure of sex. "We are seeing that kind of delay in relationships before people are becoming active, and also more people who are choosing to stay single," she said.

Among Gen Zers surveyed by BI, 35% reported they were single and not looking for a relationship.

Milstein interprets this as Gen Z demanding more from their lives and relationships.

Living through the pandemic has "definitely changed what they'll accept — from a partner and what they're looking for for a partner," she said.

The Gen Zers BI spoke with agree.

"I think that older generations, in general, tend to think of Gen Z or younger generations as hypersexual, and I think it's because of how much we're willing to have ready and open conversations about sex," said 20-year-old teacher Sasha Roberts. "Just because we're less ignorant about sex doesn't mean that we're ready to hop into it as fast."

Lorenzo says these kinds of cultural shifts are to be expected: "With each generation, there's more knowledge, there's more understanding, there's more acceptance, there's more change."