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Men who got vasectomies share why they chose to do it — including not wanting children and wanting to relieve their partners from birth control

May 20, 2022, 19:45 IST
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Dylan Titus wrote a song about his vasectomy.Dylan Titus
  • Vasectomies are a safe and affordable form of birth control.
  • Yet only about 5% of married American men have them.
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When Dylan Titus was a child, he had some bad experiences at home. He blames that on the fact that he was born to two people who had a child before they ever considered thier different approach to parenting. So as an adult, Titus decided that he wouldn't have biological kids.

"Knowing that there was no way to ask someone who didn't yet exist if they wanted to face the mental and societal burdens I face each day, the best thing for me was to not procreate," Titus said.

His partner was having trouble with birth control, but more importantly, Titus felt he needed to take control of his own reproductive health.

"I can get her pregnant, so it's my responsibility to control that aspect of myself," he said.

So Titus got a vasectomy, joining the almost half a million men who get the snip each year. And he believes more men should follow suit. As a musician, he conveyed that message the best way he knew how: through a song.

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"You never see these politicians push for vasectomies, only control of women's bodies," he said. "If these horrible people keep passing bills that are anti-women, then we as men must take the steps to undermine them. While most of us can't guarantee that our vote or voice will be heard on a governmental level, I can easily call a urologist and schedule my vasectomy."

I already had 2 kids and didn't want to be outnumbered

John Faber, 31, was already a dad by the time he got his vasectomy. After having two sons before he was 21, Faber decided with his wife that it was time to consider more serious birth control.

"It's better not to be outnumbered," he said. "Because two kids for two parents is a sane balance."

Faber's insurance covered the procedure, and he had a $10 copay, so he "didn't think twice," he said. He took comfort in the fact that if they ever changed their mind about adding to their family, he could have his vasectomy reversed.

Reversals work in 60% to 75% of cases within 10 years of a vasectomy, and the success rate drops with time.

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But Faber isn't really thinking about that, he said. "I think I'm good with two boys for the foreseeable future," he said. "It's one less thing to stress about, and as a man, I honestly have to say it's quite liberating as well. Whether in a relationship or not, as a heterosexual man the risk of getting a partner pregnant was always a looming factor, and out of all the birth-control options out there, a vasectomy is the way to go."

Now that Roe v. Wade could soon be overturned, Faber encourages more men to consider vasectomies. The procedures pale in comparison to how women have to deal with hormonal birth control, intrauterine devices, or having an abortion, Faber said. In fact, the snip was so easy that Faber went out for tacos immediately after his vasectomy.

"Everyone deserves a right to have autonomy over their own bodies, period," he said. "I deserve the right to stop my sperm from swimming just like a woman has the right to choose what to do with her eggs, fertilized or not."

Kids wouldn't fit into my lifestyle

Heath Allyn always knew he didn't want kids. But he never got a vasectomy because he was squeamish about undergoing a medical procedure that he didn't need to survive. But that changed over time. Ten years ago, at age 41, he paid $600 out of pocket to have the snip.

"I really wished I had got it done years before when I had been working a regular job with insurance," he said.

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The procedure was quick and easy, he said. So much so that when he recently heard a heterosexual couple talking about which one of them would be sterilized, he was baffled.

"This doesn't seem like a conversation that should ever need to be had if you know you don't want more, or any, kids," Allyn said. "It should always be the man going, 'Oh, yeah, that's definitely my role as it's minor and reversible.'"

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