- Two years ago, I decided to get breast implants and have since had three surgeries.
- The first set of implants was too big for my small frame and left me with back pain.
Two years ago, I decided to get my first breast augmentation, also known as a boob job. As a long-standing member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee — and while there is absolutely nothing wrong with that — I always knew I wanted to get the procedure done to fill out tops better and have a little extra something.
Little did I know that I'd be embarking on a two-year-long journey of three separate breast surgeries — but it wasn't until my last surgery that I finally found a surgeon who listened to what I wanted.
My first surgery left me with boobs that were too big
When I first found Dr. Anna Steve, a breast augmentation specialist at Neinstein Plastic Surgery in New York City, I was in a low place. I had had two previous surgeries with another surgeon out-of-town, the first being a standard breast augmentation that left me with a DD chest that I felt was way too large for my small frame.
Within a year, I had a complication due to the heavy size, and they bottomed out, which is when your implants move past the pocket and are lower on your chest. Then, I had a revision surgery with the same surgeon, looking for a natural-looking look. Instead, I was left with a round, fake look.
I felt like I wasn't listened to, my wants didn't matter, and, at times, was made to feel like an inconvenience for asking follow-up questions to my surgeon. I didn't feel like myself and I struggled with body dysmorphia daily. So I decided to make a change.
I wanted small breast implants
One afternoon sitting on my couch, I decided to do some research on small breast implants. It turned out to be surprisingly hard to find smaller implant examples, but after scrolling through for awhile, I found Dr. Anna on Instagram. Right away, her work stood out to me. Her Instagram and TikTok was plastered with examples of what I had always wanted from my prior surgeries: an elegant, sophisticated, and small look that fit my frame. And while her work spoke for itself, the fact that she was a woman made me feel even more optimistic. I booked a consultation right away.
Before committing to my first surgery, I went to over 15 consultations with different breast specialists in Los Angeles, Texas, and New York — all with male surgeons. This isn't surprising, as the male-to-female ratio of plastic surgeons in the US is approximately 5:1, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. And while this is not to speak to everyone's experience, my experience during these consultations was of being pressured to go too large or being told small breast implants wouldn't make a noticeable change in my appearance. I felt unheard and unseen.
A female doctor made me feel heard
But with Dr. Anna, that wasn't my experience at all. Stepping into my consultation with her, right away I felt at ease. She started by asking me why I was there and eventually asking what my aesthetic goals were. I told her I'd love to be much smaller, natural-looking and proportionate with my small frame.
I showed her my inspiration photos, an album full of Kendall Jenner, and she took my measurements. She answered every question I had and didn't make me feel rushed through the process. By the end of the hour-long consultation, I made up my mind. She was the surgeon for me. I felt a natural safety and trust in her. A month later, I'd have my procedure: an implant exchange for smaller implants with an internal bra to support them.
I was actually excited about my surgery
Unlike the other experiences I had, I woke up on surgery day feeling excited. I didn't feel nervous, but instead, felt excited. I didn't even care how thirsty I was from not being able to drink before my operation. I arrived to the surgery center bright and early, where a nurse met me to ask questions and prepare me.
In the surgery room, Dr. Anna held my hand while the anesthesiologist gave me my cocktail while listening to Fleetwood Mac. This was such a nice, kind touch. I woke up not long later to a nurse and Dr. Anna telling me I did great.
When I got home later, I looked down at my chest and cried. It was an overwhelming feeling of feeling like myself again. There was tremendous power in finding a surgeon who truly listened to me.