It took me until I was 25 to get diagnosed with ADHD. I assumed my symptoms were personality quirks.

• At age 25 I was finally diagnosed with ADHD.
• When I was younger, my report cards said I had much more potential but was easily distracted.

As I grew up, I found it challenging to make and maintain friendships. By nature, I'm introverted, and as a Black person, this shyness was often perceived negatively. My fickle nature and poor social skills would often be off-putting to my peers.

Because of this, I focused on hobbies and extracurricular activities. But the activities I was interested in became personality-defining obsessions that burned out as brightly as they came.

This became even more obvious when it was time for college. At 26, after dropping out of two programs, I'm making a third attempt at getting a bachelor's degree.

The signs that I had attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder were always there. I just didn't think it was something that affected Black women. But once school went remote, and I had an even harder time focusing, I sought help. If it weren't for the pandemic, I probably wouldn't have gotten a diagnosis.

My education was as erratic as everything else

Although I was fully capable, my report cards in school often commented on my missed potential. I was barely attentive and easily distracted. I was penalized for forgetting textbooks, and I only studied for tests when the panic of deadlines hit — usually the day before.

When it mattered, I delivered, but that changed once I moved on to college.

Although nursing wasn't my first choice, I went into the program optimistically. Once the novelty wore off, I found it harder to focus and stay motivated on my work, and after two years in the program, I left.

After a break, I decided to try psychology. But it happened again — I lost interest and became depressed.

Although I'd heard of ADHD, in my mind it was something that affected white boys, so I ruled it out as a possibility.

In January 2020, I began my third attempt at a degree. In March, the school sent students home because of the emerging COVID-19 situation.

Remote learning isn't ideal for those with ADHD, and it was the catalyst that caused me to accept that perhaps the issue wasn't the programs I'd chosen but me. If it weren't for the pandemic, I probably wouldn't have gotten a diagnosis.

Getting a formal diagnosis was still difficult

I was careful to find a Black psychiatrist as I was aware of the racial disparities in diagnoses. Even after finding a doctor I liked, I kept moving my appointment because I was worried about wasting everyone's time. In my mind, I thought pursuing an ADHD diagnosis was an excuse, and that my issues were the result of my personal failings.

In the end, it took another six months for me to finally attend my assessment. In my second appointment, I was officially diagnosed.

My diagnosis changed my life

I'm over six months post-diagnosis, and I'm the happiest I've ever been. I've finally completed my second year of a degree program, and I feel like I know who I am. Before, I'd constantly berate myself for not being "normal." Now, I try to curate my days in a way that's complementary to my unique behaviors.

For example, daily repetitive tasks, such as brushing my teeth, always felt painful. I used to berate myself for that, but now I know that many people with ADHD struggle with dental hygiene. My experience was validated, and to help, I invested in an electric toothbrush. I also plan to purchase an electric water flosser soon. Now, I have a "Morning Dance Party" playlist to get me pumped, as waking up before noon has always been a struggle.

Even though the things I went through were worth it in the end, a small part of me resents the years I feel I wasted. It's clear that I showed symptoms that were glossed over until I took action.

Any Black person, especially Black women, questioning whether to get a formal assessment should do it. ADHD in women is already underdiagnosed, but this is even more prevalent in Black women.

I'm still working through my anger at being diagnosed in adulthood, but I'm glad I got there in the end. I'm not indestructible, but I am capable.

My ADHD diagnosis allowed me to extend myself a little grace.