I'm teaching my kids to destigmatize the word 'fat' and that food doesn't have moral value. It isn't always easy.

• As a fat parent, I'm trying my best to teach my children about people's different bodies.
• I teach them that foods aren't inherently healthy and unhealthy.

I grew up being taught that my fat body was wrong. I felt shame for taking up too much literal space and for the fact that I couldn't shop in the same section as other kids my age. I also felt shame because no matter what I ate or wore, my body told the world that I was lazy or didn't enjoy movement.

After a lifetime of disordered eating in the name of attaining thinness, I one day watched my kid step on the scale and exclaim in victory, mirroring what she had witnessed me do since she was born. I haven't stepped on a scale since.

Now, as a white, fat, able-bodied woman, I am making it my mission to teach my 3- and 7-year-old children about the beauty of different body types.

I try to push back on what society views as 'normal'

We live in a four-person household where the masculine-presenting people are smaller and the femmes are bigger. This has given us natural and real-time opportunities to discuss how societal tropes are not only untrue but also harmful — not only to ourselves but also to our communities.

When my children were learning to communicate verbally and were curious about the world around them, they would lay across my belly and remark on the texture and size: "Your belly is so soft and fat, Momma."

Instead of hushing them or telling them not to say that because it's "not nice," a conversation around neutrality and reality was born.

I told them directly: "It is fat and soft. I love that you can use it as a pillow, and while you can make comments about my body because I said as much, some folx don't enjoy talking about their body and that's OK too. Everyone is different."

This has taken the charge out of the word "fat" for us and widened the conversation into other topics such as consent.

I'm also teaching my kids that food doesn't have moral value

We are lucky to have a house full of diverse eaters. I like to think it's because of my love of food and cooking, which ensures a wide variety of food and dishes served.

That being said, I do not assign moral value to food; I don't even categorize food as being healthy or unhealthy. I tell my kids that some foods may provide an energy boost that doesn't last long, while other foods have more nutrients that help them grow.

We also communicate different eating styles and approaches to meal times. When my second grader commented on the eating habits or styles of her fellow students, I used it as a teaching opportunity. I explained that kids came from different cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds. I told them to just bring the focus back to themselves and on what feels best for their bodies.

My daughter has danced in her high chair, fallen asleep while chewing, and expressed a general gusto for food and eating. Our 3-year-old, however, eats to sustain, rarely sitting for more than 10 minutes at a time, and is what we call the "grazer" of the family. Both are acceptable, and neither is better than the other.

Our children are raised to see movement as a gift and a source of joy

My kids get to watch and experience the wonders of the body — no matter their size. They watch me and participate in hiking, playing, walking in the neighborhood, dancing, and enjoying movement. We discuss the benefits of physical activity for our heart, lungs, mobility, and mental health — instead of centering intentional weight loss or making it about physical appearance.

Of course, this type of parenting isn't always easy. I am only human, and sometimes I don't love my body, but I do not speak unkindly about its appearance or size — especially in front of my kids.

When I say I am protective over my children, it isn't that I am creating a bubble. I just want them to question the norms that devalue and harm others. I want to empower them to think critically about the patriarchy's ideals of beauty and understand that fat isn't wrong or bad. Fat just is.