I'm so terrified of the dentist that I have to be sedated — even for a simple teeth cleaning

• I'm terrified of going to the dentist, and to even handle simple procedures, I need to be sedated.
• I'd rather put up with toothache than visit the dentist.

Squirming, I stretch out my palm to the dental assistant who's standing next to the dentist's chair.

My eyes are shut tightly, but I can sense his presence. It's reassuring. "She wants you to hold her hand," the dentist tells him. I think to myself, "If I die, at least I'll die holding the hand of another human."

I have dentophobia. I even get palpitations before a teeth cleaning. Numbing gel and lidocaine shots do nothing for my state of mind. I'm a hostage with no control.

But the edge is taken off because I'm sedated — every time. It takes about an hour to get to my dentist's office, but I'd drive 200 miles to see a dentist who has nitrous oxide, sometimes known as laughing gas, in stock.

A former dentist prescribed Valium to help me relax before she gave me the nitrous. She called one morning on the day of my appointment and said the office was out of nitrous; she didn't know when the next shipment of tanks was due. I canceled and never went back.

A dental expert says the benefits of sedation outweigh the risks

In the past, I've put up with toothaches for weeks to avoid going to the dentist. I've tried DIY dentistry, dabbing the area with clove oil. But the pain will get so bad that I'll need treatment.

I yearn to have nitrous before X-rays. Bitewings — virtually impossible to bite down on in the right position — make me gag.

Dr. Anthony Caputo, a representative for the American Dental Association, said the benefits of nitrous oxide — and IV medications that serve the same purpose — far outweigh the risks.

He said that as long as a qualified surgeon adheres to administrative guidelines, it's "next to impossible that you'll ever have a significant adverse event occur."

Caputo said dentists, who need a license and a permit to use anesthesia, carefully titrate the dose, which he said should "alter the patient's sense of consciousness from a perspective of being comfortable."

"We talk about minimal sedation, which is just where you would be comfortable and relaxed but you and I could have a conversation, you can respond, you can do things that I ask you to do such as open your mouth, turn your head, that sort of thing," he said.

He said that phobics like me might require moderate sedation, which "takes you a little bit more beyond that comfort and relaxed state, but you're still responsive."

He said that typically a patient who's dreaming, hallucinating, or giggling can indicate oversedation. But he added that that "doesn't mean you're in danger, as it is a pretty weak drug."

Dental insurance doesn't always cover sedatives such as nitrous oxide

Fortunately, my dental insurance covers a percentage of the cost of my nitrous. My usual copay is $125.

But Caputo said some insurance companies won't cover it. "There's no necessary rhyme or reason other than whatever their rules are in terms of services that are covered," he said.

Meanwhile, he advised patients — whether they're sedated or not — to bring whatever "comfort device" they prefer to the dental office. "They might want to listen to music, watch a movie, or have something in their hands that they can hold on to or squeeze," Caputo said.

He said he once treated a patient who wanted to look at her picture of Elvis during her procedure. "I found an appropriate place for it, she was satisfied, and we went forward," he said.

I'm taking a page out of the woman's book: I'm dating myself here, but for my next teeth cleaning I'll be clutching a framed photo of George Clooney as Dr. Ross in "ER."