- Glory Peddie is 54 and still a virgin. She said that she knows she will still meet Mr. Right.
- She said she won't have sex until she gets married.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Glory Peddie. It has been edited for length and clarity
I've been a die-hard romantic since I was a little girl. I've always believed in true love and a knight in shining armor.
But sex before marriage is not for me. I'm still a virgin at the age of 54, and I'm going to stay a virgin until I get that ring on my finger.
I grew up in a household that never talked about sex. My parents wouldn't dream of discussing it. But a friend told me she was having sex with her boyfriend when we were in our mid-teens. She said it was "fun." I thought, "Really?"
Two girls in my school got pregnant when they were 15. I thought to myself, "Wow, you're going to be a parent now?" and, "You can just about handle getting your period, and now you're having a baby?"
All the boys that I knew there were just friends. They didn't really consider me "girlfriend material." I didn't look like a model in their eyes. At the time, I thought that guys only went for girls who looked like models — a Naomi Campbell or an Iman.
I felt ignored — that I'd never be married with kids.
I moved from the UK to the US in 1988 at the age of 20. I was drawn to a church where the pastor wasn't afraid to preach about sex before marriage. English churches are very staid and avoid the subject. But it was the opposite here. The Bible says the best thing to do is wait. If you sleep with someone, you don't know their history and who they've been with before.
Internet dating didn't work out for me
When I was around 25, I tried online dating. I joined sites like Match.com. I visited a chatroom and met a guy who lived in Reno, Nevada. We talked every night on the phone. He was the first guy who ever said to me that he loved me. My first reaction was, "What? We've never met!" But he said, "It's easy to fall in love with you. I love your voice and your whole personality."
It felt great and I started making plans to fly to Reno to see him. I was going to rent a hotel room close to where he lived. I thought he could show me around and we'd do some fun things together.
One day, he called me at work three times in a row. He told me, "I'd like to see your picture." I agreed, but I said, "I have to be honest — I don't look like a model." He said that he didn't care at all. "I'm not superficial."
I sent him a photo through the mail. The phone calls stopped. His emails used to be full pages. Now, they were barely two lines.
He finally emailed saying that he didn't think it would work out. He wrote, "You don't drink, but I drink," and "You're religious and I'm not."
Another guy stood me up at a restaurant
It was the first time I'd had my heart broken. I couldn't believe what he'd put me through. I lost 20 pounds in two weeks due to the stress. I had to go into the shower one night and cry because I didn't want anybody in the house to hear me crying.
But I persevered and met another guy online. I suggested that we meet at a restaurant in Brooklyn. I waited for him for half an hour. He never turned up, so I called him to ask where was. He said, "Oh, I sent you an email that I couldn't make it. My aunt and uncle are having their 50th wedding anniversary." My feelings were completely shattered.
I began to think there was something physically or mentally or wrong with me. Why didn't anyone seem to be attracted to me? I didn't understand and asked God for his help. I felt better knowing that it was preparing me so that I knew who was right for me when he did come along.
I've gotten lonely a few times as the years have gone by. I feel a bit sorry for myself when I see a couple at the movies when I am on my own. They have a Christmas party at my job and people's spouses often attend. It's hard when you meet a colleague's husband or wife.
But I haven't given up on love. I don't go to bars, but I play sports like tennis and badminton. I might meet someone then. Single men come and go at our church. We call them "wolves" because they're like wolves in sheep's clothing; they think it's easy to pick up women in a church. Then, when nobody is interested, they try the same tactic at another church.
My friends and family say that the man I marry will be a lucky guy
My ideal guy would need to have a good sense of humor. I like to joke all the time. He'd need a nice build and would need to be taller than me; I'm five-foot-six.
I still think there are men out there who share my faith and are willing to wait. I tell my friends and family that I'll keep checking the glue traps until the right guy gets stuck.
A lot of people support my decision. They'll say, "When a guy finds out that you're a virgin, on your wedding night, forget about it."
Then they'll say, "He's going to think he's hit the jackpot because he's got a treasure right there."
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