- After my grandfather died, I was diagnosed with persistent complex bereavement disorder.
- My therapist suggested I go see a medium to help me deal with my grief.
A few months ago, my therapist diagnosed me with persistent complex bereavement disorder since it's been extremely difficult for me to cope with the passing of my grandfather. Luckily, I didn't have anything left unsaid to him and was able to say goodbye in person, so it isn't closure that I've been yearning for these past six years but more of a reassurance that my grandpa is still with me.
I know he isn't physically here with me but trying to come to terms with the fact that he may not be with me at all anymore has been the hardest part.
After years of therapy, my therapist suggested booking an appointment with a medium. I've watched countless episodes of the TV show "Long Island Medium" since his passing to explore the idea that maybe there is a life after death and our loved ones are still with us, but I never really considered seeing one myself until recently.
As an intellectual, it seemed like a hoax; how can someone actually connect with spirits that have crossed over? I still don't know the answer, but I was fortunate to have a reading with the psychic medium Rebecca Rosen to see if she could provide any clarification, insight, and validation that my loved ones were still with me.
She identified my family members
During my reading, Rosen was able to clearly identify people who have crossed over both on the maternal and paternal sides. She couldn't name everyone individually, but she definitely hit the nail on the head with my grandparents on my maternal side. She even mentioned some individuals who had passed away but I wasn't as close to.
Going into the reading, I was hoping she'd connect with my grandfather, and his name was one of the first few that she said. His name is a common one, but I was intrigued.
The details about my grandfather were disappointing
Rosen said that my grandfather adored me and gave me a rose, which was a message for "I love you," and that he had a sense of humor, but there was nothing else specific. While those qualities were true, I think those are common in a lot of grandparents, so it wasn't mind-blowing for me to hear that.
Before the session, I wrote a list of phrases and memories that I'd hoped she'd bring up if my grandpa wanted to let me know he was there. Unfortunately, she didn't say a single one. This led me to believe it wasn't my grandfather she was connecting with, but I still kept an open mind.
On the other hand, with my grandmother, who died when I was a baby, Rosen was able to give me a name, personality characteristics, and other compelling information that isn't anywhere else. Although this wasn't my grandpa, I thought maybe Rosen was actually connecting with the other side.
I'm easily searchable on the internet
As a writer, I put a lot of my life out on the internet. There are pictures of me, social-media accounts, and stories I've written about my personality, interests, and personal struggles.
Rosen mentioned that I had colored hair, which is true — it's pink. She said that my angel was a fuchsia-pink color. Anyone who knows me or does a quick Google search can easily find out that pink is my favorite color — I've written numerous stories about it.
She also brought up my love of Disney, and that's definitely not something I'm shy about on the internet. She said I had a "childlike enchantment," and that's true. I don't think that's a real stretch, though, considering Disney is recognized as a place for kids.
My session didn't help me with grief
I was a bit bummed that she wasn't able to connect with my grandfather as deeply as I would have liked, but that was out of my control. My anxious mind had me thinking, "What if he isn't with me anymore?" and "Why didn't he come through more?" He did come through, just not in the ways I expected or anticipated.
The fact she could connect and identify other people I know who have passed was pretty convincing, though. It wasn't helpful for the loss of my grandfather, but it gave me some sort of hope that they are still around in spirit, and hopefully, that means him, too.