- My daughter takes a combination of formula and breastmillk, for which I pump eight times a day.
- That means that I bring my breast pump with me wherever I go.
As a first-time mom, I had no idea just how much anxiety and worry I'd feel about so many different things. Before I make any decision, from what type of shampoo to use in the bath or how to use a nail buffer on her, I spend at least 30 minutes doing deep-dive research on the internet.
At about six weeks postpartum, my husband and I started to take the baby on longer adventures, from walks around the neighborhood to sit-down dinners at our favorite local spots. Because I give my baby a combination of breast milk and formula, I still have to pump six to 8 times a day, for 15 to 25 minutes a session. That meant I had to bring my breast pump with me on the go and use it wherever I was.
At first, I hid when I had to pump
While they do sell more discrete portable breast pumps, I opted for one that uses regular-sized flanges, and when attached to my breasts, my chest looks quite exaggerated. At first, I tried my hardest not to breast pump in public. I was embarrassed by how it looked and didn't want to make people around me feel uncomfortable. I would sit in a bathroom, in the backseat of the car, or leave my family and run home. But over time, pumping felt isolating, and since I was doing it for hours every day, I didn't want it to feel like it was interrupting my life.
I stopped hiding out and started doing it in public, hooking up the flanges inside my pumping bra and wearing a shirt on top. I'd walk around the park, sit at a restaurant, or even take a stroll around the mall while the pumps were hooked up. Sometimes, you could see the milk dripping into the bottles hooked up to the flangs if my shirt wasn't long enough.
A few months ago, a man approached me at a restaurant and asked that I stop milking my nipples in public. He told me the bathroom was a few feet away and it would be appropriate for me to go inside a private stall. When I refused, he said he was going to report me to the restaurant manager and try to have me removed by security. While the restaurant didn't ask me to stop, there have been times since then when people have approached me and said similar statements.
In those moments, I often am too stunned and nervous to respond. But I wish I could pull myself together and explain a few things to people who go out of their way to shame women who breastfeed or breast pump in public.
Feeding your baby is isolating
One of the biggest things that helped me get through early postpartum depression was not to sit idle and alone. Being able to take my baby out and be around other people has drastically improved my mood during a very tough time. The only way I'm able to do that is to breast pump in public.
There are already so many emotions and struggles that any postpartum woman deals with in private, from birth trauma to hormonal changes. Asking a woman to sit in a bathroom stall or the backseat of the car to breast pump is isolating and unfair.
The art of producing breast milk to feed a baby is a natural thing. If doing that in public offends someone, that shouldn't be something that I have to know or deal with. That's something they should handle on their own and discover why it makes them feel so uneasy.
It's time-consuming
What most people might not realize is that breast pumping is time-consuming. I am attached to a breast pump for three hours a day. I'm also working full-time and trying to stay socially active. If I were to sit alone and breast pump, that would be a chunk of time every day where I wouldn't be able to do important tasks I have to get done, like grocery shop or even take a long walk outside, which is helpful for my mental health.
Don't look at me if it makes you uncomfortable
I wish I could tell people to stop staring at me when I'm breast-pumping in public and making them uncomfortable. My goal is not to generate attention, it's to pump breast milk that I can use to feed my baby. If seeing a woman out and about attached to a breast pump makes you feel odd or uncomfortable, don't watch them.
As a new mom, I have more than enough things to worry about. I don't need to consider the feelings of strangers who don't approve of me breast pumping while on the go.