I want to lose weight and get a flat stomach without losing my butt. How should I exercise and eat to create an hourglass figure?

• If you want to lose fat from your stomach but build your butt, you've got two conflicting goals: growing a booty requires eating in a calorie surplus, while fat loss requires a deficit, as strength and conditioning coach Sam Gwazdauskas explained.
• You can't spot-reduce fat, so getting a flat stomach will mean losing fat from your butt too.
• That said, you can hold on to muscle while losing fat by ensuring your calorie deficit is small and your protein intake is high.
• Glute-focused resistance training will also help, as Jason Bone, Head of Strength at London fitness studio Flex Chelsea, explained to Insider.
• Ultimately, remember that although you can change your body to an extent, your body will never look the same as anyone else's, so embrace what you have.
• Read more Working it Out here.
• Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.

Dear Rachel,

I'm trying to lose weight but I don't want to lose my butt. At the same time, I want to slim my waist as I'd like an hourglass figure. What exercise regime should be doing to help me create that perfect shape?

— Dissatisfied

Dear Dissatisfied,

OK wow, we have a lot to get into here so saddle up.

There's no such thing as a perfect physique

Firstly, I would like to stress that there is absolutely no such thing as a "perfect" shape. All bodies are perfect, and I urge you to try and shift your mindset away from idolizing a particular body type.

However, I realize this is easier said than done.

As a society, we place particular body shapes on a pedestal for brief periods of time before discarding it for something new.

Sure, largely thanks to the likes of Kim Kardashian, a tiny waist, large bottom, and big hips is the look of the moment. But not that long ago everyone wanted to look like Kate Moss and strived for the straight up and down skinny physique.

Trying to change your body to suit society's standards is largely fruitless, and I've been there.

The fact of the matter is that our body shape is largely down to genetics.

I, for example, have resigned myself to the fact that I am never going to have an hourglass figure or Kardashian-esque curves. Instead of beating myself up and hating my body, I've learned to embrace my more athletic physique.

Changing how you think about your body doesn't happen overnight, but if you start being kinder to yourself and focusing on what your body can do rather than how it looks, chances are you'll start to love its appearance more as a result.

Aiming to lose fat and build a booty are conflicting goals

All that said, it's OK to have aesthetic goals provided it's coming from a place of positivity, not hate.

The trouble is, getting a flatter stomach and a bigger butt are conflicting goals, as certified sports nutritionist, body positivity advocate, and strength and conditioning coach Sam Gwazdauskas explained to Insider.

"Scientifically speaking, to build muscle you must be in a calorie surplus and implement a training stimulus (one that increases over time)," she said.

"To lose fat you must be in a calorie deficit (expend more than you take in).

"Those two goals are counterproductive and you will drive yourself crazy trying to accomplish what will inevitably feel impossible and discouraging."

If you're completely new to resistance training, the general consensus among fitness experts is that you can build some muscle while in a calorie deficit (these are known as "newbie gains"), but ultimately there's no way to shrink certain parts of your body while growing others.

Taylor Swift put it very well in her Netflix documentary "Miss Americana" when she said: "There's always some standard of beauty that you're not meeting.

"Because if you're thin enough, then you don't have that ass that everybody wants, but if you have enough weight on you to have an ass, then your stomach isn't flat enough. It's all just f---ing impossible."

Eat in a slight calorie deficit to lose fat

As I explained in a previous column, you can't spot-reduce fat.

The fact of the matter is that if you lose weight, you will likely lose some of your butt.

When I lost 35 pounds, my butt got smaller. It's inevitable. Because my whole body got smaller. That's what happens when you lose weight.

But if you want to lose stomach fat, the only way to do that really is by creating a calorie deficit through your diet. If you're not sure how to calculate that figure, there are various online tools (I recommend Jordan Syatt's), and then you could try an app like MyFitnessPal to help you get a feel for what that looks like in practice.

To hold on to muscle while losing weight, you need to make sure your calorie deficit is small (which will also make you more likely to maintain your weight loss), and ensure you're eating enough protein (aim for 1g per lb of bodyweight) and resistance training, which is what I did when I cut my body fat nearly in half in six months without losing my muscle.

Jason Bone, Head of Strength at London fitness studio Flex Chelsea, explained to Insider that it's important not to drop your calories too low.

"Bringing yourself into a slight calorie deficit will keep giving you energy for the workouts and the correct proteins for building your booty, but still see you losing weight overall. Too much of a deficit you'll be low on energy, and in turn, on enthusiasm."

Not to mention your body will start burning your muscle as well as fat, which isn't what we want.

Bone also recommended reducing the amount of processed foods and refined sugar you consume, as this often leads to you craving more. Instead, focus on whole foods.

"The simplest way of doing so is to eat food that you can easily figure out its origins; choose a protein source, vegetables, and carbs that look as close to what they did in the field as possible, rather than a ready meal or pre-packaged snacks that could, honestly, have come from anywhere," he said.

Glute-focused exercises will help you build a peachy booty

With regard to exercise, you want to focus on resistance training to maintain your muscle mass, and of course glute exercises.

Bone recommends buying a short-loop fabric resistance band and said "they take lower body workouts to the next level to build your perfect peach." Take it from me, he's not lying: the booty burn is real.

There's a whole host of exercises targeting the glutes that you can do with a band, such as sumo squats, curtsy lunges, glute bridges, and donkey kickbacks.

If you don't know where to start, find yourself a trusted trainer and a good online workout to guide you through the movements — Flex Live, for example, offers four "Peach for the Beach" classes a week.

"Your diet will aid with the smaller waist, but in addition to that, there are plenty of ab-focused exercises to get into," said Bone.

"Make sure you target the full abdominal region, particularly the obliques, to get that trim waist you're after."

On the whole, he recommends you aim to train four times a week, with at least one of those sessions being a full-body workout.

Focus on long-term lifestyle change and the physical results will come over time

Despite the myriad quick-fix diets and workout regimes out there, aesthetic change — particularly anything that will last — takes a lot longer than most people think.

If your only driver is changing how your body looks, you'll likely give up on any new diet or fitness habits long before you see any results.

For this reason, Gwazdauskas encourages you to focus your efforts on a long-term lifestyle change.

"Utilize resistance training (squats, deadlifts, hip thrusts, etc) paired with a well-rounded diet centered around fueling and nourishing your body," she advised.

"When you focus on becoming stronger and healthier, creating the hourglass shape you desire will happen as a byproduct."

It just takes a little time.

You can't expect permanent results from a temporary fix, so you need to create a healthy lifestyle that you actually enjoy.

And ultimately, don't forget that although you can change your body to an extent, your body will never look the same as anyone else's, so embrace what you have. All bodies are beautiful.

"Building a strong and healthy booty and body is empowering and satisfying," said Gwazdauskas.

"Constantly trying to shrink body parts and grow others to meet society's standards of beauty is a fruitless endeavor."

Focus on the former not the latter and you'll be grand.

Wishing you well,

Rachel

As Insider's senior lifestyle reporter and a self-described fitness fanatic with an Association for Nutrition certified nutrition course under her belt, Rachel Hosie is fully immersed in the wellness scene and is here to answer all your burning questions. Whether you're struggling to find the motivation to go for a run, confused about light versus heavy weights, or unsure whether you should be worried about how much sugar is in a mango, Rachel is here to give you the no-nonsense answers and advice you need, with strictly no fad diets in sight.

Rachel has a wealth of experience covering fitness, nutrition, and wellness, and she has the hottest experts at her fingertips. She regularly speaks to some of the world's most knowledgeable and renowned personal trainers, dietitians, and coaches, ensuring she's always up to date with the latest science-backed facts you need to know to live your happiest and healthiest life.

Have a question? Ask Rachel at workingitout@insider.com or fill out this anonymous form. All questions will be published anonymously.

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