I tried meditation that mimics the effects of a psychedelic trip, and it made me realize I need to be kinder to myself

• I did an hour-long psychedelic breathwork course that left me crying, tingly, and sweaty.
• Psychedelic breathwork involves breathing quickly in and out of your mouth. The increased oxygen flow can heighten the senses and create a psychedelic trip-like experience for a shorter duration.
• Afterwards, I felt more in touch with my mental and emotional needs.

I'd laid on the floor of my bedroom many times before for yoga, but this was different.

My fingers and toes had pins and needles, I couldn't stop crying, and my body felt like it was on fire.

Life is so fragile, but I don't want to die, I thought, my eyes closed underneath an eye mask I'd put on 30 minutes earlier.

I was in the midst of a psychedelic breathwork session, an activity that requires participants to inhale and exhale quickly out of their mouths for a sustained period until they enter a heightened state of consciousness. Proponents say it's similar to taking psychedelic drugs, but less time-intensive.

After finishing the session and completing a debrief with a trained counselor, I felt more grounded and was able to create a long-term plan to better support my mental health through self-care and tuning into my body's needs.

Breathwork can induce psychedelic effects for a shorter amount of time

I've always been curious what a trip would feel like, but have never taken psychedelic drugs. So when Field Trip Health, a company that offers ketamine-enhanced psychotherapy, reached out and asked if I was interested in their drug-free psychedelic breathwork therapy course, I was intrigued.

The course is a spin-off of holotropic breathwork, a style of breathing that can cause a person to experience "a non-ordinary state of consciousness," according to Field Trip's Director of Experience Amber Amendola.

She said holotropic breathwork is typically done after a full-day in-person workshop, followed by a debrief session. But due to the pandemic, Field Trip now offers a shorter breathwork session that can be done at home.

Though a breathwork-induced trip doesn't last as long as one on a drug like "magic" mushrooms, LSD, or ayahuasca, it can still ease symptoms of anxiety and stress and increase self-awareness, according to research. My breathwork-induced trip lasted about half an hour after 30 minutes of rigorous breathing, while a drug-induced trip could last upwards of 15 hours.

Psychedelic breathwork can also cause physical body changes, which I experienced during my session in the form of tingly fingers and toes and a raised body temperature.

Since the breathing technique involves lots of deep inhales and quick exhales, the body takes in more oxygen and releases more carbon dioxide than normal, causing a person's blood pH to change, Amendola told me.

Those changes can result in extreme body temperature changes, tingles in the extremities, dizziness, or abdominal tightness or discomfort, Amendola said at the start of the breathwork video I used for my session.

All of a sudden, I broke into a sweat and started to cry

Amendola first instructed me to get comfortable in a quiet space, either laying or sitting cross legged.

I opted to rest face-up on my yoga mat while wearing noise-canceling headphones and an eye mask, which Amendola said could be helpful for focusing on the sensory experience. I tucked myself under a blanket and rested my head on a pillow.

At first, I focused on the breathing technique. I was told to breath only with my mouth, inhale deeply, and exhale sharply before repeating the process.

My mouth felt dry, and about 30 minutes into breathing, my fingers and toes felt tingly and I started to feel hot and sweaty, despite being in an air-conditioned room.

Then, all of a sudden, I burst into tears. I tried to think if a particular instance or memory caused my outburst, but I couldn't pinpoint anything. For a brief second, I saw a flashing light in my vision while my eyes were closed, but it went away and I didn't picture anything else after that.

About 15 minutes later, the music slowed pace, my tears subsided, and I felt more calm.

When I took my eye mask off at the end of the session, the sky outside my window looked bright blue, and I felt grateful to be alive.

The debrief put my trippy experience into context

About a week following my session, Amendola and I had a phone call to discuss my experience and how to apply it to my everyday life.

After recounting the details of my session, Amendola said what I'd experienced is common, since breathwork can lift the barrier between the conscious and subconscious mind.

She also said the tingling and temperature changes I experienced were signs of my body processing energy.

As for my tears, Amendola said they were likely a way for my body to release pent-up emotions I hadn't processed. I explained how overwhelmed and isolated I'd felt since the coronavirus pandemic began.

She said breathwork can create an "enhanced sense of intuition," and debriefing afterwards allows participants to honor that sense of intuition in their daily lives.

To do that, Amendola and I discussed small habits I could create to better take care of myself.

By the end of our chat, I decided to make a more concerted effort to reach out to friends each week to feel less lonely, and to read for 30 minutes before bed as a way to rewind after a long day.

Since then, I've been taking more time to garden, cook, and catch up with loved ones, and I've noticed my mental health improve. Though living through a pandemic still isn't easy, getting in touch with needs that I'd brushed aside felt like a welcome reset, and one I'd certainly try again.

• Read more:
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• How to find a therapist virtually for the first time
• People are paying $10,000 to trip on magic mushrooms at a retreat in Jamaica. But past struggles with safety and staffing show the difficulty of taking psychedelics mainstream.