- Journaling is an amazing skill that can help you process your emotions.
- Through journaling, you can also learn how to better express how you feel.
"What are you feeling right now?"
I asked this of attendees as I scanned the room at the first journaling workshop I taught in New York City in 2019. I, for one, was feeling nervous. I was nervous for a few reasons; I was wondering if people would want to share from their worksheets and if I'd succeeded in creating a space where people felt safe sharing.
Then, the first person spoke up. And then the second. Soon, a room full of people who'd never met opened up to one another, sharing what they'd written from a series of reflective prompts. Talking about feeling unseen, lacking stimulation at work, and needing a break from the world that raced outside.
People told me that learning to journal helped them better express their feelings
One participant from that day later told me how encouraging them to share "led to a passionate and honest conversation between a bunch of strangers that left us all feeling inspired and renewed." Similar expressive experiences continued at each workshop.
Then the pandemic came. I changed my format as my workshops turned virtual, and I felt nervous again, wondering if people would still be willing to journal and share with strangers through a screen. And again, I was met with people — now from all over the world — being openly vulnerable, unabashedly vocal about their fears, their worries, their dreams.
I realized that in a world where we continue to answer with "fine" and "good" when someone asks, "How are you?" we crave not only a space where we can answer that question honestly but also the space to figure out what that answer is.
And I've found that journaling can provide that space — on a page.
How you can journal to get more in touch with — and better express — how you feel
Journaling offers a pathway for making sense of what feels messy in our minds and gives us the words to express it clearly. (Or at least, clearer.) Along the way, I've harnessed some of my favorite methods to make figuring out your feelings a little easier.
The first step is processing how you feel
Make a list. Take a blank sheet of paper, set a timer for 2-3 minutes, and jot down every emotion you feel. Write the big ones and even the tiny nudges on paper to take note of your immense capacity for feeling and how you are so much more than just one (even if one feels heavier than the others). If you're having trouble getting started, try this prompt: What is every emotion you've felt since you woke up today?
Go back in time. Sometimes, the best way of understanding how you feel right now is to understand how you felt in the past. Going back in time to write to a previous version of yourself can be highly cathartic and enlightening, giving you the insights you need to move forward.
Research also backs this up, showing that noticing personal growth and gaining a new perspective can be helpful for mental health. To get yourself thinking, try this prompt: Write a letter to yourself one year ago today. What do you wish you could've told yourself then?
Externalize your emotions. Personifying your feelings could be highly effective in helping you understand and empathize with them. An author and journaling mentor I admire, Amber Rae, put it well when she explained to Bullet Journal in an interview how she builds characters around her challenging emotions and then writes with them to understand their unmet needs and deepest fears. Try this prompt: Pick an emotion and write a letter to them as if they were a real person. Give them a name, and tell them how they make you feel.
Then, try to figure out how you want to express it
Get it out in a letter. Letter writing is consistently one of my go-to methods, especially when handwritten. New research shows how writing by hand can help brain connectivity and improve memory. It's also a great way to express your feelings, strengthen bonds, and put feelings on paper that might be hard to say verbally.
From apology letters to thank you letters, there are many options to practice expressing yourself to people in your life while making sense of what they mean to you. To get started, try this prompt: Think of someone you want to reconnect with. Write them a letter looking back on a favorite memory together and then invite them to make a new memory.
Write love notes. Leaving yourself love notes can be a small, sweet way to help you feel grounded again. You could journal a powerful affirmation, a kind reminder, or even one word you want to embody. You could write it on a notecard, a mirror, a whiteboard, etc. But my favorite is this prompt: Write yourself an encouraging note in your email and then schedule it for weeks away to get a pleasant surprise in your inbox.
Free-write and release. Catch yourself in the heat of a feeling? Pause before sending that text, that email, or making that phone call (or several). Write down what you want to tell the receiver. Get it all out. Sit with it. (Maybe even sleep on it.) Then, toss it and craft a fresh response with more clarity (and less intensity).
A final tip? If you ever get stuck (it happens), ask yourself, "Why am I having trouble with this specific prompt?" See what comes up when you dig into the question.
And above all else, be kind to what you find on the page.