I survived a plane crash that killed my dad and 136 others. It's taught me to appreciate every day I'm alive.

• At the age of 12, Richard Laver was the youngest person to survive a plane crash that killed 137.
• He suffered PTSD, became homeless, and had suicidal thoughts.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Richard Laver. It has been edited for length and clarity.

My mother sat next to my bed in the burn unit of the hospital. I was severely injured and nobody could believe that I was still alive. I'd been thrown clear from a plane that crashed, killing 137 people, including my dad. I was the youngest survivor at the age of 12.

"One day we'll know why this happened to you," Mom said. I've carried those words my whole life. I think I've found the answer. The accident — as terrible as it was — shaped me. If it hadn't have happened, I wouldn't be anywhere near who I am today.

It was August 2, 1985. My dad and I were traveling aboard Delta flight 191 from Florida to California. My first love was tennis and I was competing in a tournament in Los Angeles. The plane crashed during an attempt to land at Dallas-Fort Worth — the intermediate stop — in a massive storm.

I was a hyper aware kid. I had strange dreams about the journey before we left. I told my mom how I thought we might crash. "Don't worry, it's a one in a million chance," she said.

But I was right. I'd gone to the bathroom on the plane and splashed cold water on my face a few minutes before the descent. I was nervous because I'd been looking out the window at the thunder and lightning.

I flew from my seat and landed in a field. I had multiple injuries.

Something told me not to buckle my seat belt when I got back to my seat. I pulled a blanket over myself so Dad and the flight attendants didn't notice. I would have died if I'd fastened it. The plane hit windshear as it approached the runway.

It clipped a car on the highway and plowed through a perimeter fence. Then it hit a water tower and burst into flames. The force of the explosion propelled me from my seat and into a field. Golfball-sized hail stones pounded. A piece of the jet had lacerated my stomach. I had second and third-degree burns, a fractured neck, and broken arms and knee caps. My lung has partially collapsed.

They had to identify Dad and most of the 136 other victims using dental records. Twenty-six people survived, including me.

My teenage years were a mess. I had PTSD. I'd be sitting in the shower and the water would remind me of the rain and the hail pummeling my face. I'd be out on the deck and think a plane could crash into me. I questioned why I lived and all these other people — including my dad — had died.

The torment lasted well into my 20s. Around the age of 27, I wound up homeless after someone stole money from me. I slept on a beach for a month. I'd swim hundreds of yards from the shore every day at sunset. I hoped that a shark would take me. I was scared of nothing — apart from having hope again.

It took a month, but I reached a crossroads. I could have gone in either direction. I thought, "I'm ready to fight. I'm getting off this beach and making something out of my life."

My baby daughter inspired me to start a business

The effects of the plane crash had manifested themselves in dark ways. But, in that moment — while everyone else was running around, planning for the future — I knew the truth. I knew that it could all be gone by tomorrow.

If I wanted to ask a certain girl on a date, I went ahead and did it. If I was offered a business opportunity, I didn't wait long to accept it. I was bold in my decisions. "What do I have to lose?" I thought. "Nothing is going to hurt more than what I've been through."

I got married and had kids, including my youngest daughter, Katie, now 17. My wife had preeclampsia at the end of her pregnancy. Katie was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, then "failure to thrive." The doctors thought she was going to die. When she was 5, she weighed less than 15 pounds.

We tried more than 30 types of formula to get her the right nutrition. But nothing worked. I thought, "I have to do something." I did a lot of research and I started making Katie a plant-based formula. It made a huge difference to her health and nutrition. I founded my plant-based formula and shake business, Kate Farms, in 2012.

I defied the odds and wound up making my own luck

Four years ago, my son, Hunter, gave me a bracelet for Christmas. The letters on the bracelet spelled out "Lucky Fuck." Back in the day, I thought I was the unluckiest person on earth. But the bracelet summed up where I was . I wear it every day. I recently launched an energy drinks company called "Lucky F*ck," inspired by the bracelet. I chose the name because I want people to follow my example by defying the odds and making their own luck.

You can't go through an accident like I did without problems. But I'm glad that it happened to me. Your unluckiest moments in life can actually be your luckiest.

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