I struggled with hyperemesis gravidarum twice. It can be isolating and depressing to deal with it.

• I had hyperemesis gravidarum, often described as severe morning sickness, with both my pregnancies.
• Since my experience affected me so much, I've been keeping tabs on news about the condition.

A decade ago I was gearing up for the holidays from the discomfort of my bedroom. I was pregnant with my second child and deeply ill. I threw up almost constantly, but I still had to care for my older child.

My husband would take her to preschool, and by 11:30 a.m. I knew I had to drag myself out of bed and get in the car, one way or another, to go pick her up. I had hyperemesis gravidarum, which genuinely feels like being tortured from the inside out.

Next to me was a plastic bag I'd vomit into along the way. If I had to get out of the car, I'd stand as still as I could, feeling as if a slight breeze could knock me over.

I was too sick to do anything

When my 3-year-old daughter, Piper, and I got home, I'd let her watch TV — something she hadn't done much of until then — while I rested. Eventually she'd get bored, I'd run a bath, and we'd climb in together. She'd play with toys while I closed my eyes and begged for the sickness to fade or for my husband to get home early.

We didn't make cookies that year or attend holiday gatherings. I was too sick to talk to people. Most days I felt too sick to be inside my own skin.

Though I had to take care of my older child during my second pregnancy, I felt a bit less jarred because I knew what was going on.

I had it with both of my pregnancies

During my first pregnancy, I lost 20 pounds. Doctors looked at me perplexed each time the scale moved backward. I felt like a failure of a woman that I couldn't handle "morning sickness," something almost everyone went through.

But HG isn't morning sickness; it's a whole other beast.

When I found out I was pregnant again, I was terrified of what I knew would most likely set in. I started nausea medication right away, but it didn't take the edge off until about week 15 — when I finally was able to keep down food and water.

It's been 10 years since I last suffered through HG, but I still follow research on the illness closely, hoping that soon there will be better help for women who spend weeks and months debilitated by their pregnancies.

Finally there's an explanation for HG

This week a story came across my feed that made me smile.

There has long been chatter that HG is caused by fluctuating hormones. New research conducted by scientists from the University of Cambridge suggests that how sick a person will become has to do with their sensitivity to GDF15, a hormone a growing fetus produces.

Researchers found that women with genetic variants of GDF15 linked with a greater risk of developing HG had lower levels of the hormone when they weren't pregnant. Women with a blood disorder associated with high levels of the hormone reported very little sickness during pregnancy.

The research is groundbreaking because it's the first time scientists feel they've found a cause. That means they can start working on a cure. Researchers involved in the study have suggested that exposure to the hormone before pregnancy could help women like me who are at risk of developing HG avoid going through the sickness.

Having HG was pure misery for me

Any woman who's gone through weeks or months of endless vomiting and nausea understands how truly terrible it is. It's challenging to physically move through your life, but the mental strain is even worse.

My kids are 14 and 9, and I don't plan to have any more children — something I knew the moment my son was born. Once he was in my arms, I felt incredibly thankful that I'd never have to experience HG again.

But I still feel deeply tied to the illness and the women I know are out there suffering and just trying to make it through the day. I know what they're going through, and I'll never forget how miserable I was when no one understood me.