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I spent 5 Thanksgivings with just my husband, and I'd recommend a quiet holiday to everyone

Nov 22, 2023, 19:33 IST
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The author (left) and her husband.Courtesy of Carly Neil
  • I lived across the country from my family, which made expensive holiday travel challenging.
  • My husband and I decided to stay home for Thanksgiving, and the holiday was just the two of us.
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My husband and I lived in California for several years. We're both from Connecticut, so cross-country holiday travel gets expensive quickly. We decided we would fly back to the East Coast for Christmas and stay home in California for Thanksgiving.

For five years, it was just my husband and me celebrating the holiday. You'd think I would miss the large gatherings of extended family. While I love that aspect of the holiday, I grew to love our quieter, more peaceful Thanksgiving dinner for two.

There is no pressure to race out the door or even get fully dressed

When you know a holiday is just going to be for you and your immediate family, it removes any pressure to put together a fancy dinner outfit. We could have easily stayed in our pajamas the entire day — and for some years, we did just that.

The author's cat.Courtesy of Carly Neil

Those Thanksgiving mornings were always very calm. We would make our phone calls to talk to our parents and grandparents while eating breakfast and watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on a three-hour delay — the joys of living on the West Coast. Because we didn't have anywhere to be, we would play video games or go for a long walk with our dog before it was time to start cooking dinner.

Thanksgiving dinner can be whenever — and whatever — you want it to be

Thanksgiving dinners are oddly early, but when it's just your immediate family, you can eat whenever you want. The pressure to have a whole turkey in the oven at 10:00 a.m. was nonexistent, and enjoying a nice meal closer to normal dinner time gave us more wiggle room during the day.

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I love Thanksgiving dinner, so I was happy to cook a big meal for my husband and me. What was included in that meal was up to us — we got to choose the entire menu, from the side dishes to the desserts. One year, we didn't do a turkey dinner at all. Trust me, having that flexibility feels really, really nice.

Along the way, I learned how to master a Thanksgiving dinner for 2

When I think of a Thanksgiving dinner, the image of 20 people seated at the table comes to mind, with endless side dishes and a turkey the size of a small child. After spending the holiday with just my husband for five years, I learned the art of sizing down a Thanksgiving dinner to feed just two people.

For starters, a lifesaver for me was buying just a turkey breast — and not a whole turkey — to cut down on both prep time and cook time. Don't worry, there were still plenty of leftovers. In addition, I kept things simple with just one or two of our favorite starchy sides, plus one or two vegetables. We split a nice bottle of wine, and that's it.

We built our own holiday traditions over the years

Maybe my favorite part of having a small holiday with my husband is that it gave us the opportunity to start our own traditions. Our idea of the perfect Thanksgiving now involves picking the worst lip-syncer on the Macy's Parade and driving to the mall after dinner — not to shop, but to people-watch.

These days, I live much closer to extended family, so Thanksgiving has gone back to being loud and boisterous. I really went from sitting at the dinner table with just my husband in 2021 to sitting at a table with 40 others in 2022. I love those loud, crowded holidays, but I would recommend everyone try a Thanksgiving with just their immediate family at least once. You might be surprised how much you fall in love with the concept.

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