I met my husband playing Dungeons & Dragons. I fell in love with him while playing the game.

• Before I married my husband, I was part of his Dungeons & Dragons group.
• I was so nervous when we first started hanging out, but we quickly became comfortable together.

I met my now-husband at college in New Zealand, through a mutual friend. Our friend invited me to join their Dungeons & Dragons group, and though I had never played before, I was excited.

My mother and stepfather were a bit unusual, and I grew up with fantasy games and books surrounding me. But D&D had eluded me: I didn't quite understand how it worked, I had nobody to play with, and it felt like the epitome of nerdiness, something I wasn't quite sure I wanted. But I accepted my friend's invitation nonetheless.

D&D is played in a group, with most members playing as adventurers. One member of the group, called the Dungeon Master, leads the players through the adventure and acts on behalf of the "non-player characters" that the players encounter as well as the monsters. In this case, my now-husband was in the role of the Dungeon Master, leading us through a quest in which we traveled deep underground, through tunnels and caves in search of adventure. From the beginning, I started to fall for him.

I had no idea he would eventually become my husband

I could see from the beginning that he was intelligent, patient, and creative with our gameplay. In the first few weeks, I saw that he was careful to ensure that each of us had an opportunity to experiment with our characters and our skills. He was a good storyteller and a great listener, and when I spoke he paid attention.

My friend would drive us to and from each gaming session, and in the sleepy evening rides home I found myself hoping to sit in the back next to the man who had been leading our group. I would pretend to fall asleep so I could rest my head on his shoulder.

Over several months, we continued to play — imagining worlds, monsters, and conversations through the vivid scenes he, as Dungeon Master, described. My first character was a hunter, and with a bow and arrow I adventured bravely through the forests and caves of our campaign. My second was a bard: I made up poems and little rhymes on the spot as "spells" to help our teammates through our quest.

In both cases, he helped me to build my confidence in my imagination, my ability to experiment, and to take risks in the game. He was a good leader and an excellent guide; I also found his confidence inspiring.

We started hanging out one-on-one

The first time our friends left us alone together, I was so nervous I couldn't even speak. I had come to like him so much, and so quickly, that I didn't know what to do. It turned out later that he had started to like me, too — I just didn't know it yet. While hanging out one day, he offered me some chips and I ate them silently, dying of embarrassment; it seemed my social skills had suddenly vanished.

We were connected on Facebook through a D&D group that our mutual friend had set up, and a few days after our first quiet solo meeting we started chatting online. It felt easier than dealing with the awkwardness of our crush in-person, and our conversations began to meander late into the night. He began inviting me to parties, to watch movies with him, and to talk. He was honest about his feelings, never leaving me in any doubt about his interest. We grew closer in a way that was uncomplicated and clear.

Within five months of meeting, we were dating. A year after that we were engaged, and another year later we got married. D&D stayed in our lives, and it taught us skills that have supported our marriage. Through playing collaboratively and taking turns in play, we learned how to listen to and support each other, how to cooperate, and how to find creative solutions to problems.

We've been together for over a decade

We've now been together for 12 years and have two children. We still play D&D occasionally, including with our children. It taught us a lot of flexibility, openness, and a playful way of interacting. D&D has played a central role in the beginning of our relationship; I truly believe it helped us to establish a stable, happy marriage.

I hope to pass these skills on to our children so they can experience the joy of playful interactions, the power of imagination, and the possibility of beautiful worlds, both real and imaginary.