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I married my best friend while still in college, and we held the wedding on campus. It was the best decision I ever made.

Jun 8, 2024, 20:51 IST
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The author, left, married her best friend while still college.Courtesy of Trevor Mercer
  • My husband and I went to the same college but didn't become friends until the pandemic.
  • Our friendship grew as we talked, and eventually, it became obvious that we should date one another.
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I documented this story as it happened in journals and prayers, but the beauty in telling it now is that I get to see the finale: We did get married, we did graduate college, and we did get our happily ever after.

We met at Clemson University, where my parents met 23 years earlier. The chances of meeting my husband there, too, were small, but I was hopeful.

My first friend group was a 10-person cohort of scholarship recipients. We went on retreats, had a private workspace, and even took a class together every semester. My future husband was a part of this 10-person group. Somehow, I managed to talk to everyone except for him.

We became friends during the pandemic

Before we knew it, freshman year ended, the world shut down, all of our cohort events were canceled, and our classes moved to Zoom. Oddly enough, that's when my future husband and I finally had a conversation. In the middle of a pandemic, we became friends.

We had the friendship to end all friendships. We were two of the few people sheltering on campus, and neither of us had a car; therefore, we had nothing to do but talk — six feet apart. We did everything from showing each other our high school prom pictures to discussing what the fourth dimension should look like. We shared our memories from childhood, our dreams for the future, and even the fears we allow to hold us back. We talked like this for the next year and a half.

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At the end of our junior year, we found ourselves both single and not ready to mingle. We were over it. Done dating. We found ourselves only wanting to spend time with one another. Deep down, I think we knew how this ended. We knew it, but there's a difference between knowing the truth and acting on it. There's an even bigger difference between knowing the truth and believing you deserve it.

Our friendship coincided with a spiritual awakening that made us each question what makes someone's marriage material. We read books on relationships and marriage and asked each other the hard questions, determined not to let each other date meaninglessly again. How long should people date before getting engaged? Married? How do you determine if someone is good enough to marry?

In the weeks leading up to winter break, I chose to pray and write about the attributes I would need to see in a man to marry them. Then it happened. My eyes opened to the relationship I had in front of me. I was in the friends-to-lovers romance I had seen in rom-com movies, books, and shows. A few weeks later, I learned he felt the same way.

We then chose to marry in college

We started dating in January of 2023. After nearly two years of friendship, I knew no one could know me like my future husband did. So, we committed to getting married a month later. We were engaged in July of that same year.

We spent the summer between our junior and senior years planning for our marriage. We had to find an apartment off-campus that we could afford. We made budgets and estimates for the upcoming year and then set a date for the wedding: November 2023. Our wedding date was in the middle of the semester, but it allowed us to have an autumn wedding and have our honeymoon during our fall break.

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On November 5th, 2023, we married in the brand-new chapel on campus. Our favorite wedding picture was taken as the fall leaves fell in the parking lot of the music building.

Not everyone is ready to get married as young as we did, but we committed. Now I have memories of returning home after a bad exam grade to my husband and a movie night, and my husband had his wife's support at his Jazz band concerts.

I was afraid that marriage would make college harder or that college would make marriage harder. Now, I know that it wasn't easier or harder. It was just me and my best friend together, encouraging, loving, and talking with each other.

So, why did we get married in college so quickly? We ultimately chose to embrace a good thing.

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