I love my family, but my favorite Thanksgiving is the one I spent alone

• I spent Thanksgiving of 2020 by myself in my apartment watching television.
• While I love my family, that Thanksgiving has been my favorite so far.

Some families consider Thanksgiving a can't-miss event, but mine isn't among them. Since I graduated from high school, there's never been any expectation that I'd fly home for Thanksgiving. Usually, I've ended up at a relative's house or at my partner's family gathering, but my favorite Thanksgiving was the one I spent alone in 2020.

Though there are many people who might see this as a tragic story, for me, it was an act of self-care to stay home and create my own special experience.

I'm not the only one who enjoys spending holidays alone

I'm certainly not the first person to find some comfort in a holiday spent alone. "Depending on your work schedule and the amount of time you have, it can actually be a relief to not have to travel and disrupt your schedule so much for a few days," Isabelle Lanser, a licensed clinical psychologist and a cofounder of Cypress Mental Health, told Business Insider.

Though I made the choice to spend Thanksgiving of 2020 alone largely because of pandemic travel restrictions and a general desire to recharge solo, there are many reasons someone might spend the holidays by themselves. Some people will be spending the holidays alone because of family estrangement, divorce, financial barriers to travel, limited — or no — time off from work, or a whole bevy of other reasons.

First and foremost, figure out a holiday plan that feels good for you. "If you could be allowed to spend today in a way that actually felt really nourishing and good and really fun for you, what would that look like?" Lane Moore, the author of "How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't," said.

If you're spending Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year's Eve, or any other holiday alone this season, here are some ideas for how to spend the day.

Make or order food you enjoy

"I always encourage people to eat whatever you want to eat," Moore said. "If you're not a turkey-and-cranberry-sauce person, you don't have to make those things."

If you don't feel like cooking, order in from your favorite restaurant — plenty of places are open on Thanksgiving and Christmas — or grab a bunch of your favorite snacks to enjoy.

Get outside

"I'm always a big proponent of making sure people get outside," Lanser said. "Get your blood flowing, take a nice walk. If you have pets, spending time with them in that way can be really nice."

Find an activity to look forward to

Lanser suggests taking advantage of your holiday to engage with a hobby or activity you enjoy. "If you're a big reader, maybe thinking ahead about 'What books am I excited to read on this break?'" she said.

She also said that people who are choosing to spend the holiday alone may feel as if they should use the time to get ahead on work or be productive, but that's not always the best course of action. "I usually try to encourage clients to really take that time for themselves and give themselves a break," she said.

Be thoughtful about your social-media use

If you're spending a holiday alone, it can be strange to scroll past seemingly endless photos of people on social media spending the day with their loved ones. If you need to, there's nothing wrong with taking a day off from social media.

That said, social media can also be a place to connect with other people if you feel like you need or want that. For the last few years, Moore has hosted both Thanksgiving and Christmas livestreams for people spending the holiday alone.

Spend some time volunteering

You can also consider spending part of your day volunteering if you're feeling drawn to helping others. Look to local food banks, soup kitchens, shelters, or volunteer meal-delivery services to see what they have planned. They're often in need of volunteers on the holidays and it can be a great way to give back to your community. Plus, if you're in need of a distraction, volunteering keeps you busy for at least a few hours.

If you have complicated feelings about spending the holiday alone, speak kindly to yourself

Depending on your reason for spending the holiday alone, you might have big feelings about your decision. Moore said that you can talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. "If I had a friend who was spending the holiday alone and I knew why she was spending it alone, and I knew it was a good decision for her, I wouldn't be sitting there thinking, 'Well, what a huge loser,'" she said. "But we do talk to ourselves like, 'Why are you doing this? What's wrong with you?'"