- My mom made an effort to talk about periods before I got mine. I wanted to do the same for my kids.
- Our house has six people and one bathroom, so my kids are around
period products.
I remember the first time my mom had a talk with me about periods. Since my mom had gotten her period before most of her friends, she felt it was imperative that she give me all the details before I was surprised in a bathroom stall.
Having that open conversation with my mom made me feel somewhat prepared for when my first period came. I wanted to do the same for my own children. While my eldest had many questions and was not a fan of the concept of periods coming every month, she now feels empowered with information for when her time comes.
My children see me get my period
Since I was the only girl in my family, and my mom had a hysterectomy after giving birth to my twin brothers, I didn't have any experience with periods. I never saw her change a pad or saw tampons in the grocery cart. I'm glad she took the time to carefully explain things. When my period finally appeared, I felt prepared.
Now, in our house, I get periods. We have six people and only one bathroom, so it's apparent to anyone in our house that there's a time when mom bleeds.
I once caught my toddler son trying to get a drink out of the bathroom sink using my menstrual cup that he found in the cabinets.
Periods are part of life in our house, and it seemed my daughters' knowledge was evolving in a more natural way. I began to think that maybe we wouldn't need a talk, that they would naturally understand through observation.
Recently, my older daughter, who is 8, came to me with some pointed questions. She didn't want to learn about periods through osmosis. She had gleaned enough pieces of the puzzle to realize that I hadn't started with the corner and edge pieces first. She wanted a bulleted, detailed list.
We talk openly about periods
Sitting on her bed, I shared the basic details and told her I would answer all her questions honestly.
"Does it hurt?" Yes, for me, but I can function. It's different for everyone. It might hurt more or hardly at all.
"What if it happens in school?" Go to the nurse. She raised an eyebrow and said, "I am not going to talk to her about that." When I reminded her that the nurse likely also got periods, she seemed slightly more at ease.
"When can I expect it to arrive?" Truthfully, much earlier than it happened for me and my friends. The age of the onset of puberty has dropped, and as a Black girl, she's likely to begin her period at an even younger age than her white peers. I told her it would likely happen sometime in the next few years and continue until she was in her 50s.
Her mouth dropped. She had no idea. "One week a month for almost all of my life? That can't be true." Her facial expressions ranged between shock and sadness.
—Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) February 10, 2022
We have books available for them to get answers
My younger daughter is 3. I've already tried to correct the mistakes I made with her sister. Regular, normalizing, and intentional conversation about our bodies and how they work are part of our family's fabric now.
I've learned that a combination approach is probably best. Frequent healthy conversation through the years is important. Sitting down as puberty looms and having an intentional, special moment where your child can ask any questions and have their fears heard is important, too. I've found a slew of great books to have on our shelves.
I had a moment where I wondered what would happen if my two sons grabbed the books and started flipping through. I decided that all the books can be on the shelf together. They know and love people who have periods.
Recently, I checked with my eldest to see if she had any more questions. She talked about the tampon machine in her school's bathroom, feeling empowered now by knowing what it was for.