- I explored my sexuality in college and decided to go on a date with an old high-school friend.
- She planned the perfect romantic date on a hill where we painted together.
Understanding and accepting my queerness was always complicated for me. I went to a performing-arts high school where a fair number of kids felt safe to come out, but I wasn't ready to label myself.
In college, I started to explore my bisexuality. Like many curious and questioning queer kids, I had plenty of queer experiences before I began to claim that part of my identity.
One of those experiences was the best first date I've ever been on.
I was home from college during my winter break when I reconnected with a friend from high school
I was at a party in my hometown when I saw an old friend. She was a year older than me, and we had run in adjacent circles. This friend — let's call her Sadie — was out in high school, and I'd always admired that about her. We spent most of the party hanging out, and she boldly told my sister it was a shame that I was straight.
"Are you sure about that?" my sister said, acting as my wingwoman.
Sadie asked me on a date the next day. She knew I was going back to school on the other side of the country soon. She also knew I was still figuring myself out. She told me we could just hang out for now — without any pressure.
I asked what we should do on our first date, and Sadie asked me if I trusted her to surprise me. I absolutely did.
We agreed on the date and time, and she told me to meet her in the parking lot of a movie theater near both of our houses. But I had a feeling we weren't going to the movies.
The date she planned was nothing short of perfect
When the day of our date rolled around, I spent the better part of two hours deciding on an outfit that would be both cute and surprise-appropriate. After finally deciding on jeans and a green shirt that I felt really good in, I arrived at the movie-theater parking lot. Sadie was already there, waiting for me with a single rose and a bag of mixed candy.
"Hi," she said. "Still trust me?"
"Yep," I promised. My heart was beating but in a good way.
Sadie opened the passenger door of her car and asked if she could put a loose blindfold over my eyes so as to not ruin the surprise. I agreed, and she passed me the bag of candy to snack on. She put on Hozier, who I had mentioned I loved, and she told me to say the word if at any time the surprise element stopped feeling fun and I wanted to take the blindfold off.
During the car ride, we joked and chatted and I kept trying to guess where we were going between bites of sour-peach rings and banana Runts.
Seeing a show? No. Laser tag? Nope. Playing tennis? Definitely not.
Finally, we arrived at our destination. Sadie asked me to wait in the passenger seat while she set some things up. I got the sense that we weren't in an especially crowded area, and my mind was still racing with possibilities. I had no idea what we were doing.
"OK," she said, opening the door after a couple of minutes. "Ready."
Sadie led me out of the car by the hand and stood behind me to gently untie my blindfold.
"Ta-da," she said, and I gasped.
We were parked at the top of a small hill overlooking the downtown area of our desert city. Sadie had set up two small easels with canvases, a set of acrylic paints, a palette, and a Bluetooth speaker. At the party, I had mentioned wanting to go to one of those paint-and-sip nights where everyone paints the same thing, but I wasn't old enough to drink yet.
"Do you like it?" she asked. "I thought it would be more fun like this, anyway."
"I like it so much," I said.
I couldn't believe how sweet and intentional the date was
Sadie collected all these little details I mentioned being interested in and set up a surprise just for me. It was romantic, thoughtful, and thrilling. It felt like something out of a young-adult novel.
Neither Sadie nor I were especially gifted visual artists, but it felt so easy and fun to talk and just be with her while painting my rudimentary rendition of our city at sunset. As predicted, location and logistics prevented us from ever being more than casual romantic interests.
But that evening has since stood out as a momentous experience for me. It confirmed that, yep, I was definitely not straight. It helped me come out to myself, and it set the bar wonderfully high for my future dates.