- I bought my daughter her first screen before she was two years old.
- When we're out at meals or traveling, I don't see the problem with offering screen time.
My daughter was 18 months old when I first bought her a screen. We were going on a family vacation to Italy, and I thought it would come in handy for keeping our active toddler entertained on the flight. It was an easy decision.
But according to a recent survey by Speech and Language UK, teachers believe that too much screentime is causing speech and language delays in young children.
The findings have sparked a debate about how much screen time is too much, with some parents even swearing off screens entirely in social situations. But, for me, a screen is an essential part of my parenting toolkit.
Offering screen time makes parenting a little bit easier
When I go out for lunch, dinner, or a quiet drink with my partner and now three-year-old daughter, I take coloring books, crayons, Play-Doh, stickers, you name it. But I also take her screen.
Being a parent brings many joys, but you also give up a lot. Your social life takes a back seat, and if you're in a relationship, "couple time" can be hard to come by. A screen lets you cling onto that bit of your old life, be it the opportunity to finally go to that new restaurant you've heard so much about, or just the chance to have a snippet of kid-free conversation over a meal.
My partner and I don't have family nearby, and while we'll always arrange childcare for bigger occasions like weddings, it's just not practical to get a babysitter when we want to go for brunch at the local café. We also still have a lot of child-free friends, so it's nice to be able to take our daughter with us to meet them, safe in the knowledge that she can watch her screen for a bit if she gets bored.
I don't only offer screen time when I want to enjoy myself at the bar; sometimes, I use a screen purely for logistical reasons, like when traveling. The two-hour train we take to visit my parents is often busy and cramped, so having plenty of entertainment at the ready is key. As for flights, walking around when she gets antsy isn't always an option for obvious reasons. And there's hardly loads of space to spread out books, toys, and coloring pens in an airplane seat, so a screen is a great alternative.
Screens don't seem to have a negative effect on my daughter
I have no concerns about my daughter's social skills. She speaks well (a little too well at times), understands two languages, and is the first to make friends at the playground. She is happiest when chatting away, be it with children or adults. So far, she is thriving, and that's despite a bit of screen time here and there.
There are no meltdowns when it's time to turn off the screen; I explain that screen time is over for now, she accepts it and moves on to the next thing. Maybe I'm just lucky, but given my daughter's generally fiery temperament — not to mention her typical toddler resistance to doing simple tasks such as putting on her jacket in the morning — I don't think that's the case.
Of course, I have boundaries; I don't leave her in front of a screen all day long. But for a cumulative hour or so on a train or at a restaurant, I don't see the problem. I think that, like everything in life, the key to screentime is moderation.
I know that all kids are different. I also know that I'm writing this as a mother of a three-year-old, and an able-bodied, neurotypical one at that. I know that things could change when she's older, but for now, this works for us.
If it works for you, too, don't feel guilty about it. There's nothing wrong with trying to make your life easier.