- I met Renzo in Lima, Peru, while traveling, and we went on two dates.
- We stayed in touch. When I picked my next travel spot, I went back so we could have a third date.
"You're doing what?" my friends asked. I had just told them I was flying across the world to see Renzo. "Yes, for a third date," I replied.
I could understand why they were surprised, as I'd only known him a few months; but so far, we'd gotten along well, and I was thinking that at worst, it'd be an adventure after which we'd part ways. At best, we'd deepen our connection and have a fantastic story to tell as a couple.
I met him while traveling in Lima, Peru
Here's the tea. I'd met him in his hometown of Lima, Peru, earlier in the year while traveling through the city as a remote worker. We'd met for two dates, had some fun, and kept in touch casually after I left the city, though neither of us expected things to progress. However, I continued to enjoy our virtual conversations about the seventh season of "RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars," even as I visited my family in my hometown of Virginia Beach, Virginia.
So when I decided to find a new city to visit (I was a remote worker, after all), I chose Lima again. I figured that maybe I could go on a third date with Renzo when I was there; and if it didn't work out, then I'd still have a cool, writer-friendly city to live in for a couple of months. Either way, I'd first have to take a deep breath and figure out what to pack for our third date.
As soon as he found out I was coming back to Lima, Renzo suggested a dinner at one of the city's top-notch Chinese Peruvian restaurants. I love trying new foods and immediately said yes.
We picked up right where we left off
Thankfully, things clicked during our date. Renzo and I quickly realized that we had more in common than extensive "Drag Race" knowledge and a penchant for animated comedies. We also shared a love of language learning and cultural exchange. Crucially, we also both identified as outsiders — not just in mainstream society but in our queer communities.
Before uprooting my life and becoming a digital nomad in 2021, I'd been living for several years in New York, where self-aggrandizing "Instagays" dominated the queer dating scene. I'd always felt happier in the margins.
Of course, other aspects of my past came into play here. For starters, I'd never been in a healthy relationship, despite being almost 34 years old. Unfortunately, I'd wasted much of my 20s wading through a corrosive morass of alcoholism and self-destruction. Then, after facing homophobia from older citizens of my hometown in Virginia, where I'd moved back to after college, I inevitably derailed and found myself dating people who weren't right for me.
Finally, after moving to New York and discovering the dating scene to be somehow even more frustrating — and surprisingly, still full of closeted men — I decided that the best thing for me would be to just leave America. Thus, Renzo and his grounded kindness were a breath of fresh air, to say the least.
We started traveling together
By the time I met Renzo, I'd already compiled a Rolodex of casual international hook-ups. But the connection we had been building clicked into place on that third date (and later continued to grow on our fourth, fifth, and sixth dates and beyond), and I had no more time for — or interest in — the other people I'd been seeing. Our dates eventually morphed into weekend-long getaways — first within Peru, then across South America.
Finally, two months after I'd come back to Peru, as we rode horseback across a deserted beach in Florianópolis, Brazil, I realized I was in love.
Now it's been a year and a half with Renzo; my impulsive flight to Lima was just the beginning of our grand international adventure. Together, we've traveled to 10 cities in three countries, Peru, Brazil, and Colombia, and have no plans of slowing down. So if anyone you know is wondering what to do for their third date — well, I have some ideas.