+

Cookies on the Business Insider India website

Business Insider India has updated its Privacy and Cookie policy. We use cookies to ensure that we give you the better experience on our website. If you continue without changing your settings, we\'ll assume that you are happy to receive all cookies on the Business Insider India website. However, you can change your cookie setting at any time by clicking on our Cookie Policy at any time. You can also see our Privacy Policy.

Close
HomeQuizzoneWhatsappShare Flash Reads
 

I flew across the world for my boyfriend; then he dumped me. It made me fall in love with solo travel.

Mar 17, 2023, 18:29 IST
Insider
The author.Courtesy of Alison Karlene Hodgins
  • I traveled from Canada to Australia for my boyfriend.
  • He broke up with me in Bali, Indonesia, away from anyone and anything I knew.
Advertisement

The rain poured into the gutters, drowning out the persistent honks of scooters, the whines of stray dogs, and the words I sputtered to my now-ex-boyfriend: "Are we breaking up? In Bali?"

"I'm sorry," he replied.

I closed my eyes and remembered arriving at Sydney Airport only a few weeks ago; the overcast skies were my first warning that this trip might not be everything I'd hoped for.

I'd met my ex-boyfriend at our local swimming pool back home in Canada, and I was instantly infatuated, as only 18-year-olds can be. When I learned that the sweet farm boy with strong arms and a soft singing voice was leaving for an eight-month round-the-world trip with his brother and best friend, I tried to accept that our timing was obviously wrong.

After three months of long-distance Skype calls and lovesick messages, I changed my mind. I flew across the world to join him and his travel companions, hoping to stay for up to three months. The four of us spent three weeks in Australia, road-tripping the Great Ocean Road, learning to surf near Byron Bay, and boating through crocodile-infested rivers in Darwin before traveling to a remote village in northern Bali, Indonesia.

Advertisement

That's where he dumped me.

The day after our breakup, I woke up in our shared accommodation, my eyes raw and puffy. I walked to a decrepit-looking internet café that promised a connection to home. That was all I really wanted — to go home.

This wasn't a typical breakup

People usually get their hearts broken within driving distance of family members and loved ones: friends to take them out dancing and parental figures to squeeze in bear hugs. A sticky communal computer was my lifeline to everyone who knew and still loved me.

The boys and I had booked a flight to Singapore, but I knew I couldn't keep traveling with them. I also wasn't willing to go home early, tail between my legs. I wasn't sure what to do — I'd never intended to travel the world alone.

I found an affordable flight to Perth, Western Australia, and decided to nurse my broken heart abroad until I felt ready to return to Canada.

Advertisement

But something unexpected happened.

I fell in love with solo travel

Instead of spending my days isolated and miserable, I was traveling solo, and when people noticed, they struck up conversations with me. They invited me to play beach volleyball, share beers, and cook dinner together. I felt accepted and grew bolder.

I attended my first punk-rock music festival, alone, and danced in a sweaty crowd of strangers. When I landed in Hobart, Tasmania, I invited myself on a camper-van trip with three fellow backpackers. I traveled to New Zealand, where I trekked across a glacier, went bungee jumping, and cycled beneath snow-capped mountains.

I felt invigorated and lost, free and uncertain, frightened and more alive than I ever had before. Traveling by myself was difficult, but I kept going — and I've never really stopped.

Twelve years after that fateful breakup in rural Bali, I'm a full-time editor and writer specializing in travel and adventure. I've visited over 35 countries, most of them alone. I might have lost a boyfriend, but I gained something much better: a love of solo travel.

Advertisement

If I could say anything to that heartbroken girl, sobbing in the downpour while the world around her seemed to shatter, I would tell her: You're going to be OK. It will get better. This was all meant to be.

And to my ex: Thank you for letting me go.

You are subscribed to notifications!
Looks like you've blocked notifications!
Next Article