- I've been obsessed with watching television for years, but my Netflix subscription became a crutch.
- I relied on watching Netflix to help me get through withdrawals when I quit drinking.
Some of my earliest memories include watching television.
It's been a huge part of my life since I was a kid with my very own TV in my bedroom.
I went from watching "Degrassi" every week in the fourth grade to devouring dramas as a tween. By high school, I'd fallen in love with docuseries, and in college, I'd spend several hours a day binge-watching shows about crime.
But in my junior year of college, television went from an obsession to a crutch. I was experiencing serious burnout, and I'd mostly stopped going to class.
When I wasn't working, I spent my days drinking alone and getting lost in the newest Netflix show. It was all I wanted to do.
I replaced alcohol with television once I got sober
Once I quit drinking in June 2020, I found myself becoming extremely dependent on Netflix to push through my alcohol cravings.
I needed some kind of escape to distract me from the severe physical discomfort that came with my withdrawals. An endless stream of TV — sometimes entire seasons of a show in a day — was my answer.
It was also my escape from traumatic experiences I wasn't ready to speak about. With access to thousands of television episodes and movies at my fingertips, dodging my reality was easy.
Instead of going to support groups, I pressed play. I took comfort in knowing that, unlike real people, shows would never harm or reject me.
The more television I watched, the less I socialized.
Eventually, I also decided to change my relationship with streamers
After a few months without alcohol, I also decided to give up Netflix and all of my other lesser-used streaming services.
I challenged myself to go a year without them. One became two as I realized how much I benefited from not having them.
Instead of lying in bed and becoming deeply invested in shows, I took on healthy habits. I started exercising and eventually opened up about experiences I'd been repressing as a survivor of sexual assault.
I started dating again and have formed and maintained more friendships, too. These days, I'm over four years alcohol-free.
I'm grateful Netflix (plus soda, energy drinks, and cigarettes) helped me get through a difficult period of withdrawals, but I don't have an account anymore.
Maybe I will again someday. For now, I only watch docuseries and crime shows on Hulu, limiting myself to four episodes per day.