I became a single mom at 46. It's really hard at times, but I don't want to rely on anyone else taking care of my daughter.

• Helaina Buzzeo became a first-time mom through adoption at age 46.
• This is an adapted excerpt from "Not Another Parenthood Guide," a limited-edition book from Coterie's Becoming Parents campaign, with 100% of sales going to BabyQuest.

The following is an adapted excerpt from Coterie's book "Not Another Parenthood Guide."

When I was in my mid-20s, I thought I'd get married to my boyfriend at the time and have a kid. When that didn't happen for us, I went down another path instead, being highly focused on work and other things in my life. It wasn't until I was 39 that I started thinking about kids again, deciding whether I wanted to freeze my eggs.

I was struggling with doing it on my own versus finding that soulmate I thought I'd have to do it with. I kept waiting for that to happen and then thinking, "I don't want to wait anymore." I was concerned about whether I could make it work as a single parent - that I wouldn't have enough money and time.

First I tried IVF, and then adoption

Fast-forward to when I was about 42: I started the IVF journey. After five IUIs and several IVFs, I was going to be traveling to India as well as starting a new job, so I figured it wasn't the right time. I put it on hold again.

After the transfer of my last embryo didn't work, I decided to go the adoption route. I went down that path fast and furiously. Once you're approved by the state and the lawyers and everything's put into place, they start the advertising, and you start receiving calls from birth moms.

I remember asking someone who was helping me with the process, "How many of these phone calls do I have to take?" And her response was, "You have to do as many calls as it takes until you have a baby in your arms."

I talked to eight birth moms in total.

I finally met my baby's mom

My daughter's mom was almost three months pregnant when we started talking. We talked all the time, and it was exhausting. I knew that she and I were connecting and that this was going to be my baby, but I still had to take the calls, because at any time she could change her mind. That didn't happen, but it was really, really hard.

When she was six months pregnant, I went to meet her in person. Then I went back about a week before the birth. It was the most intimate and crazy process I've ever experienced.

In the hospital, my daughter slept in my room. We left the next morning. My mom was with me, and I needed a moment outside. It felt crazy, just leaving a hospital with a child.

When we got back to the place where we were staying, I made an excuse to go to the store. I needed a second to wrap my head around the fact that this had happened. After that, it was wonderful. It was normal. It's what I expected. As everyone says, your priorities shift as a mother.

She's almost 5 now. I found good schools and aftercare. I never had a nanny. When everything was said and done, I was 46. I didn't want to pass her off to someone else. I want to spend as much time as I can with her, teaching her and providing care.

I set the tone when I started my last job, telling them when I'm coming in and when I'm leaving. I can jump back online at night, and I don't care if I have to work until 2 o'clock in the morning to get done whatever I need to get done.

Sometimes it's harder as a single mom because I don't have someone else to lean on and share these responsibilities with. But that's not just me being a single mom; that is how I want to raise my kid. I don't want someone else picking her up.

I think I've trained myself to know that I'm going to be fine. It'll all work out, and, so far, it has. When you're in it, it's like riding a bike. You realize, "I can do it." And it's beyond a priority.

"Not Another Parenthood Guide," to be published on November 3, 2021, by Coterie. Copyright 2021.