- I met my best friend, Bryan, four years ago. At 95, he's 57 years older than I am.
- He's lived a long, happy life, and I asked him his tips for the key to longevity.
At 95, my friend Bryan is still so vital.
He has trouble walking long distances, but upstairs, he is as sharp as a tack. Bryan lives in his own home, does his own grocery shopping, cooks for himself, and loves spending time in his garden.
I recently asked him what he believes the key to a long and healthy life is, hoping for some tips so that I can be just like him at 95. I thought maybe he'd say he had never smoked a cigarette or enjoyed a beer in his life, or perhaps that he ate a vegan diet. But his answer surprised me.
Bryan told me he didn't live by the rules. He created his own way of living and had a life full of excitement. He thinks those memories have kept him young.
Here are Bryan's tips for living a longer, happier life.
He never followed fad diets
Bryan grew up in the era of the Great Depression. People often got by on what was cheap and accessible. As a result, he's always been grateful for the food on his plate.
Now, he believes in eating good, wholesome food and a balanced diet. He says throughout his life, he probably ate red meat twice a week on average. The rest of the time, it was fish, poultry, and plenty of veggies. His secret vice is dark chocolate.
The only thing Bryan is regimented about is starting each day with a black coffee and a teaspoon of honey from a local honey farm.
He didn't eat or drink in excess
Bryan has never been a huge eater, and because of that and regular exercise, he said that he's never had a problem with his weight.
Before he retired, he would enjoy an ale or two socially with friends on a Friday night, but he only ever drank in moderation. "I could count on my two hands how many times I've been drunk," he said.
Bryan still has a beer on special occasions — Christmas Day and on his birthday.
He moved as much as he could
When he was younger, Bryan was an excellent tennis player and water skier. Some of his happiest memories are of spending time on a houseboat water-skiing on The Murray River in South Australia.
"I've always kept active," he said. "I walked where I could, and I only drove where I needed to."
He volunteered regularly
Bryan's father was involved with the Royal Flying Doctor Service (RFDS), a not-for-profit organization that provides emergency and primary healthcare services for people living in rural, remote, and regional areas of Australia.
As a boy in the 1930s, Bryan would help out by pedaling the pedal-powered radio, so they could communicate with pilots in the sky. When Bryan was in his 30s, he voluntarily maintained a dirt airstrip for the RFDS and helped clean and refuel their airplanes.
Bryan also did volunteer work for local high schools, while his late wife Mary helped out at the Australian Red Cross.
"We enjoyed doing what we could for other people," Bryan said.
He curated connections with friends
Bryan is a people person. He's made a habit of nurturing his relationships.
"I have a beautiful big book I've had since Mary and I got married," he said. "It's full of names, phone numbers, birthdays, and other milestones of everybody I've known since the year dot.
"I look at that every day. If I see someone who I knew 90 years ago, and it's his birthday, I ring him up."
He danced like nobody was watching
Bryan and his wife Mary loved to dance. They danced socially all of their married lives.
"We'd go to different places, different towns," he said. "Most of the country towns had different types of dances."
His favorite was the progressive barn dance, where you'd dance with everyone in the hall. He said it was a wonderful way to meet new people, socialize, and have fun.
He kept his mind active
Bryan said he was never a brilliant scholar, but he grew his understanding of the world in other ways. When he was younger, he made a decision to only ever spend a few years in a job, and as a result, his general knowledge is extraordinary.
"I did not want to be a specialist in one particular subject with my mind or my hands," he said. "I wanted to experience everything in life because it exercised my brain. My brain is very versatile in a lot of things, rather than one singular thing."
At 95, Bryan still loves learning. He's an avid reader and enjoys writing.
He stayed positive
Like everybody, Bryan has faced challenges. His mother left when he was two, and he never saw her again. He's had to cope with the death of his sister, wife, and son.
But by maintaining a positive attitude, he's proved to be extremely resilient. "Bad things will pass," he said. "You eventually make peace with them."
On the very rare occasion that Bryan is having a bad day, he simply closes his eyes and travels back to the memories of a life well lived. That keeps him going.