How to talk to children about racism, police brutality, and protests in the wake of George Floyd's death

• People across the US are protesting in response to George Floyd's death.
• Now that children are home due to the coronavirus pandemic, they're likely even more exposed to information about police brutality than they were in the past.
• Talking to children about racism from an early age is crucial and experts say the key is using age-appropriate materials and books.

It's been a week since George Floyd was pinned down by a white police officer and died in Minneapolis police custody. In the days since, protests have erupted in cities across the US. The scenes and feelings of anger and grief are familiar. But now that schools are closed due to the coronavirus pandemic, students are home, likely watching more footage of the protests, and are more exposed to their parents' concerns than they were after similar cases of police brutality in the past.

This has fostered an opportune moment for parents to talk to their children about racism, protests, and riots. But how do parents begin that tough conversation?

This will naturally vary depending on a child's age, maturity, and exposure. For a child who has no concept of skin color or racial differences, it will be challenging to explain that everyone doesn't get equal treatment. Older children, however, may already have noticed differences among their classmates, or have witnessed — or participated in— teasing someone of a different background.

Typically, the best time to start having these discussions is when children are between the ages of eight and ten, according to Lisa Tyson, a licensed social worker with a background in African American studies.

"Your discussion should be at a time where the child is in the best position to receive the information," Tyson told Insider. "The ultimate goal is to provide the correct information and build self-awareness."

Keep reading to learn how parents can facilitate an honest, empowering, and informative discussion with their children.

Discern how much your children already know about racism

First, find out how much your children already know. Your child may already believe stereotypes, or have heard racist language used in YouTube videos or among their friends. Identify what their concerns are about their own identity and questions they may have about other cultures. When answering, "honesty and transparency are important," Tyson said.

Be open and honest about police brutality

A young child may have a difficult time understanding why a police officer would harm someone, but middle and high schoolers are likely emotionally prepared to learn about the concept of police brutality, according to Tyson.

Parents need to explain that, while police officers should be protective and helpful, in some cases, this isn't the reality.

"Black children are often taught about police in a way that keeps them alive," Tyson said. "But children of all races should receive the information so that they are aware of the profiling and discrimination that unfortunately occurs."

Give them a history lesson

Ease into the conversation about racism with an explanation of segregation, focusing on what that looked like for students, since a child can visualize a classroom. Explain how the issue evolved and the cases that led to integrating school systems.

For children who are struggling to understand the protesting and rioting, teach them about the concept of revolutions.

The civil rights movement, the LGBTQ movement, and many others are rife with examples of how protests and riots were able to spark change.

The revolt of Nat Turner, a slave who attempted to overthrow his master, may be a good place to start, said Sarah Tosh, a psychologist.

Next, talk about the Stonewall Inn riots of 1969, which was led by black and brown trans women in response to ongoing police brutality. Those events are widely credited with spurring the gay liberation movement, leading to more rights for LGBTQ people.

Encourage your children to celebrate differences

Embracing other cultures is an effective way to help fight systemic bias. That's why it's important to explain to your child that differences are what make each of us special, not flawed.

"Despite laws that are neutral on their face, we know that the criminal justice enforcement continues to disproportionately punish black and brown people," Tosh said. "The ongoing criminalization of black people only perpetuates the belief for white people that 'criminals' are punished."

The demonizing of black people in the media only exacerbates the issue, studies show.

At the same time, though, Tyson encourages parents to teach their children to not ignore other people's differences, but to celebrate them.

"Teach children to love others and base their relationships on the content of the person and not what they look like," Tyson said. "Teach them that stereotypes and preconceived opinions can be hurtful to all involved."

Encourage your child to come up with effective ways to fight racism

Even adults may struggle to understand why protests turn violent and why some people involved have destroyed other people's property and have stolen items from stores. No matter what your take is on the looting, remind your children that people are in pain, and they've been hurting for generations.

Ask your child how they would feel if a close friend was hurt. What lengths would they go to for justice?

Tyson suggests encouraging children to identify meaningful and helpful ways to make a difference.

"Explore with the child other ways that they can assist with addressing racism, such as voting, creating anti-racism campaigns, and sending letters to the victim's family," Tyson said, "whatever is an age-appropriate response based on their stage of development."

Allow the experts to do their jobs and educate about racism

Parents, understandably, may not be able to answer a child's every big and important question. That's when they can turn to experts, books, and activities to teach children about this complicated, painful, and age-old issue.

Use worksheets and activities to discuss diversity and the Black Lives Matter movement. Introduce your child to "Just Mercy," both the book and the movie, to demonstrate to children how the judicial system disproportionately affects black people.

Introduce elementary and middle school children to books about diversity that they can understand and relate to, and do the same for high-students. "White Fragility" is a particularly powerful book.

The protests we are seeing now will die down, the George Floyd case will come to a close. These conversations, however, must continue. The more parents talk about the issues, the easier these discussions will be.

"Above all, Tyson said, "teach them that love is the answer."

• Read more:
• I'm white. My sons are black. The Central Park incident confirmed that my kids won't be safe anywhere.
• 25 inspiring moments of peace and solidarity from the protests gripping the US
• Thousands across the UK, Germany, Italy, New Zealand, and Canada condemn racism and demand justice at global Black Lives Matter protests