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How to politely deal with people who break social distancing rules, according to etiquette experts

Apr 29, 2020, 01:21 IST
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  • When it comes to social distancing, it's easy to feel like you don't know how to tell people to get six feet away from you without being impolite.
  • Different etiquette experts have developed ways to do this gracefully, whether that's by relying on body language or chalking your caution up the CDC to using germ-free gestures to replace handshakes and hugs.
  • But no matter which method you prefer to use, all etiquette experts agree that the most polite thing you can do for society right now is stay home.
  • Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.
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In this age of social distancing and face masks, avoiding close contact with grace requires a few maneuvers.

No matter how much people talk about the importance of distance, it seems there is always someone out on the streets, not heeding the CDC's advice to keep six feet apart at all times.

Most people are used to sharing their space with a smile, not telling fellow grocery shoppers to back away from them, but it's natural to find a passive approach more challenging when you're concerned about the spread of the coronavirus.

Here are some tips from etiquette experts on how you can politely remind people to back away.

Body language is crucial

While outside, you can rely on body language to communicate what you can't so easily say out loud or gesture with facial expressions.

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If you aren't wearing a mask, rely on your facial expressions to communicate. "You can choose to smile as you move six feet away from someone you pass on the sidewalk, maybe give a nod," The Emily Post Institute, founded by the eponymous etiquette guru Emily Post, wrote in a blog on their site. "You can also say something like 'sorry, I'm just trying to keep some distance.'"

If you're greeting someone, etiquette expert Lisa Grotts told Reader's Digest that germ-free gestures should replace handshakes. Those gestures could be anything from the namaste greeting to a royal wave.

Dr. Sylvie Briand, the World Health Organization's director of pandemics, offered some alternatives to hand-shaking, from offering the elbow to the Thai "wai," where people bow to each other with their palms together.

Dr. Tom Frieden, former director of the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), told CNN "I prefer the traditional Southeast Asian hands-together namaste greeting, although the elbow bump is fun."

It's OK to be blunt about social distancing

Shoppers stand apart as social distancing measures, amid concerns of the COVID-19 coronavirus, while queueing outside a supermarket in Manila on March 17, 2020.Maria Tan/AFP/Getty

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If you're wearing a mask, you can stick to certain phrases that you tell people who seem to be getting too close.

Alison Green, of workplace advice blog Ask A Manager, told the L.A. Times that, if you don't feel comfortable asserting yourself, you can chalk your caution up to the CDC. You could say something like, "I know the CDC is recommending we stay six feet apart, so let's just keep some distance."

Psychotherapist Matt Lundquist says it's okay to be blunt, if needed. "People need to say, 'Sorry, I know you think I'm being unreasonable, but I need to really insist on this,' " he told the New York Post. "If they push back, say something like, 'You don't need to agree on all the nuances of what is and isn't risky, but you do need to respect me.'"

Diane Gottsman, author of "Modern Etiquette for a Better Life," told the Huffington Post that in our current climate, it isn't considered rude to keep your distance from a mask-less person.

Pre-COVID-19, every etiquette expert would agree that not attending an event after RSVPing was the height of rudeness. Not anymore. "Don't feel the need to explain, apologize, or make up an excuse for declining. You can be honest but polite," Diane Gottsman, founder of The Protocol School of Texas, told MarthaStewart.com.

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It isn't an insult to sanitize your hands in public

Don't be embarrassed to whip out your hand sanitizer right after you touch something in public.

"It's perfectly fine to wash your hands in public before and after touching door handles and screens," Dr Michael Head, a senior research fellow in global health at the University of Southampton, told the Guardian. "It's a key message that people need to carry on doing."

Remember to mind your manners, and treat people's reminders to stay safe with gratitude

Even during a pandemic, it's crucial that you mind your manners. "During a time of high alert, we are often more willing to comment on a stranger's behavior," the Emily Post Institute wrote. "You don't know what another person's reason for being more cautious may be, so it's best to lean toward gratitude rather than grievance, and safety rather than risk."

But no matter which method appeals to you the most, all the experts agree that the most polite thing you can do for society right now is stay home.

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