How to deal with overwhelming anxiety: 6 skills from therapists for regulating your emotions
- Emotionally regulation helps you calm anxieties and stress that feel uncontrollable.
- You can try emotionally regulating by doing a body scan and focusing on physical sensations.
- It may also help to try relaxation breathing techniques, progressive muscle relaxation, and more.
Sometimes, anxiety can overwhelm you. If this happens, your head may swirl with negative thoughts and you may experience a racing heart, trembling, or hyperventilating.
This can make you feel like you're caught in a storm of your own anxieties — but you don't have to let it consume you. Learning to regulate your emotions can help you control overwhelming thoughts and give you the tools to calm yourself in times of extreme stress.
Here are six therapist-recommended ways to regulate your emotions and cope with overwhelming feelings.
1. Breathe
Research shows that engaging in slow and deep belly breaths (rather than nervous shallow breathing) can help you effectively reduce negative emotions such as anxiety, anger, and depression, inducing comfort and relaxation.
This type of breathing stimulates your vagus nerve –– a major component of your parasympathetic nervous system –– communicating to your body that it's time to relax, says Hannah Guy, MSW, LCSW, therapist in private practice.
To do this optimally, Guy suggests following these steps:
- Breathe in slowly for four seconds and focus on expanding your abdomen and rib cage.
- Exhale slowly for six seconds, making your exhale longer than your inhale
- Aim for about six breaths per minute
2. Turn towards physical sensations
When you're emotionally overwhelmed, it's easy to start ruminating on negative thoughts and self-talk.
"In an emotional crisis, it's important to try to catch yourself from going down this wormhole because it will only make you feel worse. You can do this by bringing your attention to your body and what emotions you are actually feeling," says Guy.
To check-in with your body, Guy recommends following these steps:
- Slowly scan your body from the top of your head down to your feet by bringing your attention to each part of your body and observe any physical feelings you notice.
- Identify the areas of your body that have any tension or sensation.
- Take slow deep breaths while you mindfully notice and observe these sensations.
- When your mind wanders back to negative self-talk, redirect your attention back to the body.
"A bonus is that by noticing the sensations and tension in the body, you are also practicing mindfulness which can help calm you down when distressed by helping you focus on the present moment," says Guy.
3. Use progressive muscle relaxation
This technique involves intentionally tensing a muscle group while you slowly inhale, and then relaxing the muscle group while you slowly exhale, Guy says.
Start from the bottom of your body, tensing up and releasing the muscles in your toes and feet, and then slowly make your way up your whole body.
"When our muscles are tense, it relays to the body that it's stressed. By relaxing your muscles, you are able to communicate to your brain that it is okay to relax and calm down," says Guy.
And you may see the results relatively quickly. A 2020 study found that a 20 minute session of progressive muscle relaxation can be effective in inducing a state of relaxation. The amount of stress relief was statistically significant compared to the control group who did not engage in a relaxation technique.
4. Shock your nervous system with temperature change
Humans have something called a mammalian diving reflex which is activated when submerged in cold water.
When this reflex is activated, it turns on the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), aka the "rest and digest" system. The PNS can conserve your body's energy and slow your heart rate, resulting in physical relaxation.
Guy recommends filling a bowl with ice water, holding your entire face in it for 10 seconds, and repeating at least four times.
5. Utilize your support network
While overwhelming feelings like anxiety or depression can make you want to isolate, it's important to make an effort to remain connected, says Angela Ficken, LICSW, therapist in private practice.
Whether you reach out to friends, family, a significant other, or therapist, they can help you to rationalize your thoughts and keep you from spiraling. It can be as simple as texting somebody if you don't feel up for in-person socialization.
"This will help you keep that bridge of communication open and help fight off any negative emotions without draining you," says Ficken.
6. Journal
Carrying thoughts in your mind alone, it can be difficult to process emotions or organize your thoughts, which may result in more stress and mental clutter.
"Writing things down not only creates space in our brains, but also allows us to tangibly see what we are thinking and gives us an opportunity to organize, prioritize, and problem-solve," says Ficken.
Continuing to journal long-term can result in even further benefits. A small 2018 study found that journaling for 15 minutes, three times a day, significantly reduced depression and anxiety symptoms, as well as increased resilience.
Insider's takeaway
The more you use the tools listed in this article, the more they'll help.
If you find yourself forgetting to use these tips in the heat of the moment, it can be useful to have a visual representation of your coping skill toolbox. Try writing down a list and keeping it on your fridge, desk, or phone, Ficken says.
When you have the right skills at your fingertips, you have the power to keep your emotions from getting the best of you.