How I learned to stop worrying and love my 40C man boobs

• At around age 12, when all my female classmates were developing breasts, so was I.
• I have gynecomastia — when men have boobs or enlarged breast tissue.

My "man boobs" came in right at the start of puberty. As my female classmates were getting their boobs, I was getting mine. As a pubescent 12-year-old boy, it's hard to say which development interested me more. Puberty is hard on everyone in different ways, but my budding breasts felt like a curse.

Gynecomastia is the clinical term for man boobs or the enlargement of breast tissue in boys and men. No amount of exercise or lifting weights would ever make mine go away. Bulking up only made my bosom buddies even more noticeable. It's like my body was mocking me, and it wasn't the only one. I received a fair amount of teasing in middle school, and in high school, and in college, and as a result, I always hated taking my shirt off in public.

I have a size 40C bra

When I say that I have man boobs, I don't mean that I'm a little top-heavy. I mean that I've been sized as a 40C bra size. There are petite women who would love to have curves like mine and men who will pay a lot of money to get rid of them. Growing up, I imagined getting breast reduction surgery so that my man boobs could be discretely disappeared. Per the Cleveland Clinic, 20,000 men do exactly that every year.

For a self-loathing young man, my man boobs were just one more reason to hate myself. If I couldn't get plastic surgery, I hoped that I might one day make a begrudging peace with my pecs. Instead, I've learned how to love my body, man boobs and all.

Today, I'm a 34-year-old man, and I've long since developed the confidence that eluded me as a young person. I'm confident enough to say that I'm a handsome guy, and thanks to that confidence, my man boobs aren't an obstacle in my love life.

Everyone has insecurities

As I grew up, I discovered that everyone has insecurities. I needed to build my self-confidence even when my man boobs were staring at me in the mirror.

I couldn't make my moobs disappear, but I did learn how to develop and emphasize other traits. Barbers always told me that I had a great head of hair, so I started putting effort into grooming and combing my hair. Likewise, I discovered that I felt my best when wearing stylish outfits, so I assembled a wardrobe that made me look and feel my best.

As I became more confident, I also began to recognize bad habits in myself. For years, I had a dry, self-deprecating sense of humor, but I began to make a conscious effort not to be self-deprecating. If you want to be the best version of yourself, then why waste one second putting yourself down? Self-deprecation was just another expression of self-loathing, and I had to leave it behind. I developed another practice along these lines: always accepting compliments. Too often, insecure people respond to compliments with self-deprecating jokes or denials. "No, you look great. I look like garbage."

Instead, I always assume compliments are being offered genuinely. Even if your knee-jerk reaction is that the other person is just being nice, accept the compliment enthusiastically anyway. Not only will the other person be happy to make you happy, but you may even start to believe these compliments.

True confidence takes more than vague efforts at self-affirmation; rather, I'm talking about taking action and changing behavior. Perhaps this is why people say that when it comes to confidence, you have to fake it 'til you make it.

I'm happy with my life

Confidence really is sexy, and it has to be earned. If you take the right actions, you might be surprised to find it within your reach after all. Best of all, no one can take this kind of confidence away from you. If I had made my self-esteem contingent on getting rid of my man boobs or what other people think, then I never would have developed confidence. I'd still be consumed with self-loathing, even if I had a flat chest.

Whatever insecurities I once felt toward my own body, I know they're nothing compared to what women of my generation have suffered. Our beauty standards are at times arbitrary, often insane, and ultimately downright cruel. Meanwhile, the nation as a whole keeps getting bigger. It's a recipe for self-loathing, and I don't want any part of it.

Our culture is slowly learning to love women with curves and men with "dad bods." As someone who appreciates a curvy figure and has a dad bod (without the kids), I think that's a welcome change, but the real change has to occur within.

I've had man boobs for most of my life, and maybe I always will. I'm OK with that, and I wouldn't trade the life or body that I have today for anything.