How and when to have sex for the first time after giving birth, according to sexual health experts

• Doctors suggest waiting four to six weeks after giving birth to have sex again, but new parents shouldn't feel pressured if they aren't ready.
• When they are, it helps to ease back into the experience with self-pleasure and oral sex. Going on dates or spending quality time with your partner before sex can also help boost intimacy in the bedroom.
• During sex, focus on enjoying yourselves rather than going in with the goal of orgasm, which can add to feelings of pressure and frustration.

When you first bring your newborn home, sex may be the last thing on your mind. But once you get settled in with your new bundle, you and your partner may start to think about being physically intimate again.

There's no set amount of time a new parent should wait before getting back into the bedroom, but according to the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology, doctors often suggest a period of four to six weeks after giving birth. During that time, a new parent who recently gave birth may experience fatigue, vaginal dryness, pain, or low sex drive, according to the Mayo Clinic. And if you experienced a vaginal tear during the birth that required stitches, doctors suggest waiting until the area is completely healed to prevent pain or re-injury.

If you don't feel ready at the six-week mark, that's OK too.

"I think that we as a culture expect new parents to get right back into their pre-pregnancy routines, but there is no going back — a completely new routine must be figured out, and that routine is likely going to change from month to month when a newborn is changing so rapidly," Sofia Jawed-Wessel, an assistant professor in the School of Health and Kinesiology at the University of Nebraska-Omaha, told Self.

But when you are ready, there are a few steps you can take to have the most comfortable and enjoyable experience possible.

According to Christine Leistner, a relationship health scientist and assistant professor at California State University - Chico, easing into sex with masturbation, finding ways to be intimate outside of the bedroom, and overcommunicating with your partner during sex can help after birth.

Start with masturbation

Before getting intimate through partnered sex, Leistner suggested taking a solo approach.

"I would say don't go from zero to 60. Start with masturbation," Leistner told Insider.

At any stage in life, self-pleasure can help a person feel more connected to their body, and that's especially important after you've gone through hormonal changes that come with being pregnant and giving birth.

In fact, a June 2012 study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found women gravitated towards self-pleasure or oral sex after giving birth, rather than going straight for penetrative intercourse.

Rebuild intimacy in your relationship before having sex

The same study authors found that how women felt sexually, and how they perceived their partner to feel sexually, were more important factors in their post-partum sexual satisfaction than physical factors like breastfeeding or vaginal trauma.

The findings suggest rebuilding an intimate connection with your partner can help make your post-baby sex more fulfilling, and Leistner suggested taking the time to do so outside of the bedroom.

"Talking it through, going slow, and doing other things that are pleasurable besides sex," can help Leistner said, like going on a date could boost your feelings of connectedness.

When you feel supported and in tune with your partner in other aspects of your life, that will translate to feeling connected and comfortable with them during sex.

Take your time and overcommunicate with your partner

When you and your partner decide to have penetrative sex again, it's important to discuss your needs and expectations to ensure the experience is pleasurable to both of you.

"Both partners need to be open with each other about their fears, concerns, and desires in the face of a changing sexual relationship as to avoid any misunderstandings," Dr. Jennifer Conti, a clinical assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Stanford University, told Self.

In addition to offering each other verbal support through compliments, saying "I love you," or reiterating how excited you are to be intimate together beforehand, it's also important to set boundaries in case the sex becomes painful or uncomfortable, Jawed-Wessel said.

She added that going into the experience with the goal to feel connected and enjoy yourselves, rather than the goal of orgasm, can also help take the pressure off.

"If penetration is causing pain [and/or] anxiety, take it off the table entirely and explore each other's pleasure in different ways that don't include penetration," Jawed-Wessel said.

Lastly, being prepared with lube can help ease potential physical discomfort from vaginal dryness, according to the Mayo Clinic.

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